This year I decided to adopt new changes into my lifestyle.  In case you don’t already know me, I am a SUPER negative person (even though I may come across quite a funny, light-hearted writer) AND I am basically a walking doormat for people to tread all over me AND I am a people pleaser and I get really sensitive when people don’t like me.  WELL NO MORE PEOPLE!!!  I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!  Here are 10 positive changes I have started to implement into my life as of 2013 :-

1.  I am trying to become an optimist.  Key word is “trying”.  It isn’t easy for a negative person like me, but good thing my Husband is the MOST optimistic person I know because I am learning from him.  And this is the MAIN change because everything other change follows on from being optimistic about everything in life…

2.  I’ve given up trying to please people who have no regard for me whatsoever.  I have learnt to accept that some people are just not meant to be my/our friend(s).  In order to establish a good friendship, it has to be mutual.  And sometimes, it is one-sided due to various reasons beyond my control so I have learnt to let go and not try and fix it.  Read about Example A here.  For some stupid reason, I dwelled WAAAAY too long on this person and even wrote a blog post about them!!  WTF?  No more!!!  I don’t have to think or feel or see or hear from this person ever again and even if our paths cross again (which I highly doubt), I won’t even bother.  It is over.

3.  Melbourne is my home.  At least for now.  I have never liked Melbourne and it has never liked me.  And initially, we were planning to stay here for 3-4 years and then move on…so in my head, I interpreted that the wrong way and never settled into life here.  But now, after much thinking, it has dawned on me that no matter where we are or where we go to, I should treat the place that I am currently at as “home” – whether I like it or not.

4.  Forming friendships with women.  I come from a family dominated by women so I know all the emotional dramas, neediness and bitchiness that can arise from female friendships.  And you know, having male friends was so much easier for me before marriage because I could flirt, tell my dodgy jokes, be one of the guys and be “The Drama Queen Attention Seeker”…but after marriage, all my single guy friends disappeared from my life and I don’t dare make friends with guys in Melbourne – I cannot deal with a jealous husband and he probably can’t deal with a flirtatious wife  Anyway, I have found many lovely ladies to be friends with and I can actually be myself without feeling intimidated so YAY!!!

5.  Don’t let the little things annoy me.  Sometimes people or things or circumstances test my patience.  And I have always been quite a patient person till a few months ago when the tiniest thing would bug the heck out of me.  I started to hold tiny grudges and let it harbour in my heart.  No more.  Letting it all go.  And I’m working on being patient again and the first thing is to stop letting little insignificant things annoy me.  And then the next step is to work on the bigger things.

6.  Eat healthier.  I could eat junk food every single day.  But I am trying to get the Husband and I into a healthier eating lifestyle.  And we have started juicing and eating out less.  However, saying that we over-indulged in McDonald’s recently so…  :(

7.  I have started swearing!!  But only in my head.  WTF?  How can that be a positive change?!  It is a positive change because instead of bottling it up and suppressing how I truly feel, I can rant endlessly and if I want to use a cuss word in there, I will.  However, if I start expressing it ALOUD, I will get worried!!!

8.  Doing more of the things I enjoy.  I used to get sensitive and upset when people criticised me for being on social media and blogging all the time.  EXCUSE ME?  How rude!  Do I criticise you if you enjoy doing housework / baking / reading / watching tv / going to the gym / sleeping / playing video games / shopping / watching sports / earning money?  NO!!!  So instead of trying to do what a “normal 30 plus year old wife should do”, I will do WHAT I WANT TO DO!!!  I enjoy it so stuff you!!!

9.  I will no longer be a doormat.  This is a NEW change which I decided to adopt this month.  For example, if someone says something that doesn’t agree with me, I have decided to speak up and defend myself.  I have decided to become more expressive about it.  If someone says something that upsets me, instead of pretending NOT to be upset, I will take them aside and let them know.  If someone is taking advantage of me, it will STOP IMMEDIATELY!  Also, if someone (who is not my mother) treats me like a kid or patronises me in any shape or form, I WILL LET THEM HAVE IT because I am sick to death of these type of people who think they know better.

10.  I have decided to make more decisions in life.  I am an indecisive person.  I usually go along with other people’s decisions.  NO MORE!!!  I have to take control of my life.  Of course, when it comes to decisions which involve me and my Husband, instead of letting him decide everything, I have decided to have some input.  Finally!!! LOL.  It’s funny.  People think of me as the BOSS in our relationship when it is totally not true.  If I was the Boss, would we be in Melbourne?  Exactly!!!  I am the weakest!!!  Just because my Husband does the housework and spoils me, people think I order him to do it.  Hello?  I cannot order him to do anything!!!  And I wouldn’t anyway.  I am not his Mum and I don’t like it when wives order husbands around like they are children *shudder*  - Apologies if you are reading this and you are female and you wear the pants in your relationship.  Do not get offended!!  My Mum wears the pants so go talk to her LOL!!!

Of course, I might “talk the talk, but not walk the walk” – but at least, I know I am trying to implement these changes because it will make me a much happier person.

Sometimes I wish life would slow down so I could take it all in.  There are so many things that I want to learn…I want to touch…I want to experience…I want to see…I want to live.

Contrary to the moodiness conveyed in the black and white photo, my life is bursting full of colours.  It’s hard to describe.  I have so many ideas and thoughts and dreams in my head which keep me excited and awake at all hours of the day.  But the question is how to translate it into real life.

Life is so complex.  Sometimes you can be so low you wonder how you can get back up again.  But sometimes you’re so high and you want to go higher.  Currently, I’m on a high so don’t drag me down, aye!

Anyway, I was speaking to someone recently and they asked about my beauty blogging (you know, the other blog(s) I write – the makeup and girly stuff)…and as much as I love it, it doesn’t define me as a person.  Writing is my passion, not beauty products.  I started blogging over 9 years ago for the love of writing, not for the love of beauty products.  The way I apply my lipstick will not change anyone’s life…but the way I write can stir up people’s emotions and can make them laugh, cry…or yawn!  That makes me happy.

My dream has always been to be a successful writer.  But how can that be defined?  Does beauty blogging count?  For me, no.  But I will be living the dream soon…my writing dream…

Apologies for my random mish mash of thoughts.  It is supposed to confuse you.  And yes, there are hidden meanings, as always.

I wanted to tell you a funny story…but I guess I’ll save that for another day…and another place

Don’t spend your life chasing your dreams.  Live life.

- Ling

*Sponsored post by Nuffnang

Last week, I returned from a 2 week holiday to Hong Kong with my Mum, Dad and Sister. As you all know, I left Scotland and all of my close family and friends in 2009 and moved to Australia so spending time with my family has been very precious.

We had a lot of family fun together in Hong Kong – shopping, eating, attending a family wedding, staying up late and watching DVDs together. It was perfect to kickstart the year with this holiday.

It wasn’t always like this.

As I have blogged about this before, my Mum used to be addicted to gambling and she spent most of her time in the casino so we rarely spent time together as a family – I am the eldest of 7 children so we really needed both Mum and Dad!!! But the best thing is she got the help she needed to overcome this gambling addiction and it changed our lives forever.

Back when I was struggling with my Mum’s gambling problem, I had no-one to turn to and it was a very stressful situation to be in as a young teen… But nowadays, there are so many ways to get help.

***

If you have an issue with gambling or have a loved one with a gambling problem, you can contact Gambler’s Help to seek advice. Gambling doesn’t just affect one individual, it affects that individual’s family and friends as well. Confronting a gambler about their problem isn’t easy – believe me, I have been there. The team at Gambler’s Help understand that it’s a difficult conversation to have, and they can help you approach it in the right way.

Gambler’s Help offers a range of services including telephone, face-to-face, group, couples, family and financial counselling options, while Gambling Help online provides information and advice, live chat and email support.

 All services are free and confidential and help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

So to speak to someone directly, contact Gambler’s Help on 1800 858 858, or to find out some more info and check out the live chat or email counselling, go to gamblinghelponline.org.au .

 Hopefully, you or your loved one can get the help required to overcome their gambling problem.

Hello there…if there is anyone there!

Yes, I have been MIA.

No, I didn’t keep to my promises of blogging those last few days of my #30daysofsharing.

But HAPPY NEW YEAR!  I know I am 28 days late… but what can I do to make it up to you?  A new sponsored blog post in a few hours is coming your way!  And I will have more to update you throughout the week.  *pinky promise*