Posted by Ling Tung on September 1, 2010
Something has been bugging me recently. In fact, a lot of things have been bugging me. But today, I want to share about this. As you all may know by now, I am one of these annoyingly open and honest people. Seriously, if we are on the same wavelength, I will tell you everything you want to know about me – in detail. I believe that I am extremely good to my friends because I basically adore friends. I love having friends and being a good friend to everyone. I am one of those sensitive creatures who get upset if people don’t like me. I will tolerate all sorts just to keep the peace in friendships. I just love friends. (Okay, we get the picture – please move on!!!) Anyway, recently I have come to the realisation that some friends can tell a lie without blinking!! And that bugs me. Why do friends have to lie? And what is it that these friends lie about? It’s dating-related!! And we all know how I, self-confessed love guru, love dating-related topics. Yes, I have friends who have been telling untruths about their new relationships.
Friend #1
Was asking Friend #1 about dating and they said, “Oh, I’m not interested in the opposite sex at the moment. I don’t want to date at the moment.” A couple of weeks later, I discover that Friend #1 is now in a relationship. Maybe, just maybe, Friend #1 changed their mind AFTER I had spoken to them…but I doubt it! Basically, Friend #1 lied.
Friend #2
Was asking Friend #2 about dating. (Yes, I ask a lot of my single friends about dating because seriously, do I really want to ask the boring question, “How is work?“) I asked if Friend #2 liked anyone of the opposite sex. Friend #2 said, “No!” I said, “How about this person (name of my single friend of the opposite sex)? He/she is hot!!” They said, “Nah.” TWO DAYS later, Facebook announces that Friend #2 is in a relationship with the same person I had named. Like hello? Obviously, I am happy for my friend and I congratulated them, but I still cannot believe Friend #2 lied. Friend #2 hasn’t apologised for lying but it’s okay, I forgave them.
Friend #3
This one is a bit twisted so I shall not go into detail. But I discovered that Friend #3 was dating someone from the same sex and basically, living a whole secret life. Okay, cannot disclose any more information. But let’s just say that this friend is extremely good at lying…but then again, did they forget that I am even better at being a detective?!
Maybe I am just uber-sensitive about friendships. But I am sure the Guide To Being A Good Friend states that friends should not lie to each other. (I just made that up so don’t go googling this guide! It doesn’t exist!)
Listen friends, if you are going to lie about dating or being in a relationship, please don’t. Friends should not lie to each other. If you are confronted with a question you do not want to answer, please do this – read here.
In fact, I will even give you some extra help if you do not want to disclose about your dating habits or new relationships.
Do you fancy him/her?
Instead of saying “No” when you clearly do, but you don’t want to admit it, choose from the following :-
- “Everyone is fanciable in their own ways.” - This is a fact. Act coy.
- “Why? Do you?” – Turn it back on the interrogator.
- “It doesn’t matter whether I fancy them…more importantly, does he/she fancy me?” – This will get the interrogator thinking and will divert the attention to someone else.
- “I don’t want to talk about it.” – Simple. This will stop any more questions from the interrogator.
Friend #4
I recently discovered that one of my friends, Friend #4, started dating someone, but they did not lie but instead, used the methods of hiding the truth. I asked Friend #4, “Are you dating anyone?” Now the thing is, I KNEW that Friend #4 is dating someone but they did not lie about it and instead said, “Do you think I have time for dating? I have been working so hard…blah blah…“
Smart. Did not answer the question with a yes or no. Instead answered the question with another question and then proceeded to divert the attention away from the question.
What could I do? Friend #4 did not want to admit their new relationship. But I was happy that Friend #4 did not lie to me. One day when Friend #4 wants to share, I must remember to thank them for not lying to me.
In conclusion : Thou shalt not lie to a good friend. WRONG!
Okay, okay. Maybe I should face reality. Sometimes I may consider someone to be a good friend, but it does not mean that the feeling is mutual…(which is the other thing which is seriously bugging me to the point where it kept me awake last night but I shall share another day…)
In conclusion : Thou shalt not lie, especially to friends. WRONG!
Okay, okay. Just because I consider someone to be my friend, the feeling may not be mutual. They may be two-faced and hate your guts…(which is another thing which has been bugging me. Again, another story…)
In conclusion : Thou shalt not lie.
Just like the ninth commandment in the Bible. Oh yeah!
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Posted by Ling Tung on August 20, 2010
It’s my birthday today! Happy birthday to me! Let’s not go into detail about what age I have turned… Age is just a number, but boy, this age makes me sound so old. Well, thank God, people say I look young.
Here are my tips on looking younger than your age :-
1. Hang out with young people
- Walk and talk like a young person and others will think you are young too.
- Suck out their youth and age them, not yourself.
- The majority of my friends are younger than me. I don’t know how to talk to people older than me. They tend to want to talk about serious matters. Do I look serious? No. Do I want to talk about work? No. Do I want to talk about politics? No. Do I want to talk about how cute Hello Kitty is? Yes!
2. Good facial skincare
- I am lazy about moisturising my body, but I always try and treat my face well with good skincare products, e.g. La Mer, SK-II.
- Day cream MUST have UV protection!! The sun ages skin.
- Must start moisturising hands though because ageing wrinkly hands are a dead giveaway of being old. ARGH!!!
3. Botox
- Yeah, if you have the money to splurge, I highly recommend Botox for the wrinkle-free forehead.
- Unfortunately, the last time I had it done by my friend, she messed it up and my forehead was still alive.
4. Date / Marry a younger man
- Women tend to let themselves go once they are in a secure relationship. Dating or marrying a younger man keeps you on your toes. Like hello, must try and stay young and fit for the toyboy!
- Note : please make sure that the boy is of legal age though!
5. Be happy and positive
- Trust me, there’s nothing worse than being constantly down and depressed. Looking like a sour plum will just age you.
- It is also important to surround yourself with happy and positive friends who do not put you down and constantly remind you how OLD you are.
- Celebrate your age! “Yes, I may be 30 but I look like I am 25!” (Actually, in my head, I am still 21…)
6. Eat well
- People are sometimes shocked at the amount of junk food I eat, but I do balance that with healthy foods too.
- Some people are strong enough to cut out carbs or chocolate or junk food – but I can’t be assed with dieting and all that jazz.
- I have done all the eating disorders in my days – from being anorexic to being bullimic to bingeing. Trust me, your hair looks crap, your skin turns crap and you look crap. The best thing is eat what you want in moderation. (As for me, I am blessed with relatively high metabolism but that is partly from going to the gym.)
7. Dress young
- I used to look at my friend’s mum and think, “What is she wearing?” She’s like this lady in her fifties and she’s prancing around in see-through tops so people can stare at her wrinkly droopy cleavage. GROSS! It’s like Madonna in her leotards. I never really understood why these old ladies wouldn’t dress their age. Now I know why!! Haha. Yes, dressing younger will make you look younger. But please do it in a tasteful way.
- As for me, I have to refrain myself from buying cutesy Hello Kitty T-shirts. I am not 12 anymore…
8. Don’t cut your hair short and perm it
- I wonder if this is a Chinese old lady thing. But seriously, all the old ladies seem to hack their hair short and poodle perm it when they turn 40. It is not flattering. It is extremely age-ing. And I will NEVER do that EVER!
Of course, I have more tips on how to stay and look younger than your age. But hello, it’s my birthday. I’m in Rome. It’s the second last day of my honeymoon. It is 35 degrees sunshine outside. I’m gonna slap on some sunscreen and head out with my toyboy hubby and we are gonna eat. Oh yeah!
Go on, wish me a happy birthday!! I know you want to. *smiles*
Posted by Ling Tung on August 5, 2010
Today is Thursday. I am getting married on Monday. I have 4 more sleeps by myself and then after that, I will have to fight with someone over the bed covers! I think that will be one of the strangest things to get used to – sharing a bed with someone. I have the strangest sleeping habits which I have not warned my new sleeping partner about :-
1. I don’t tend to snore, but I tend to talk in my sleep. I can have a full conversation with someone, which tends to go like this, “Oh really? Yeah, I think so too.” One of my girlfriends has witnessed me cussing in Chinese in my sleep! This is strange because I don’t normally cuss at all; let alone in Chinese!
2. I grind my teeth and my teeth are worn to smithereens. But I don’t grind in a forward motion, but my jaw deviates to the side and grinds from there. It really annoys me because worn teeth don’t grow back.
3. I have to pee regularly at night. Sometimes, up to 5 times. I am used to broken sleep. But this may annoy my new sleeping partner!
4. Now, this is my worst habit. But sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and I check facebook! Yes, I do. On my mobile phone or i-Pod Touch. And because I can’t see without my glasses, I put the screen right up close to my nose and scrunch my eyes up and peer away. I am not addicted.
Do you have any strange sleeping habits?
Posted by Ling Tung on July 25, 2010
If you have been directed here for details on how to pay towards our Honeymoon Pot, then I’m sorry but I was advised to remove my bank details from my website…(so e-mail me and I will send you details again!)
The Honeymoon Pot will be spent in either London, Paris or Rome. Thank you.
If you are a blog fan, read on…
When guests attend a wedding, they usually buy a wedding gift to bless the newlyweds. The majority of couples have a gift registry list and this information is included in the wedding invitations – it is even easier today with online shopping.
Now, the idea of having a gift registry list is highly appealing to me. It’s not because I get to go shopping (I HATE shopping). It’s not because I get to choose whatever I want. It’s because I get to walk around the store with a handheld device which scans barcodes and stores this information and forms your gift registry list. Isn’t that cool? (Or am I just sad? HAHA!)
However, as our Scottish wedding is in 2 weeks, this is clearly not going to work for Mr Dorky and I because we do not even have our own address. We have no idea where we will be living once we go back to Australia at the end of August. Therefore, we have no idea what we will need for our new abode. And so, we never set up a gift registry list for the wedding.
But at the same time, I did not want people to buy us gifts in Scotland which we could not take back to Australia. For example, how would we take back a vacuum cleaner.
What we really wanted was money. However, according to wedding etiquette, it is rude to ask for money.
I figured it was better to be honest so I included this at the end of our wedding invitations :-
If you would like to bless us with a wedding gift, we would greatly appreciate money towards our Honeymoon Pot as boxed gifts would be too difficult to take back to Australia. Thank you.
Points to note include :-
- “If” – meaning it is up to you; it is your choice; no-one is forcing you
- “money towards our Honeymoon Pot” – you know what the money is going to be spent on (although I do want an iPhone 4…)
- “boxed gifts would be too difficult to take back to Australia” – being honest here; it’s not as if we don’t want a vacuum cleaner, but it’s because we can’t take it back with us
That was not tacky right? It was just plain honesty. Some people clearly want money, but they put it in a nicer way by masking it in a poem (usually found by googling) :-
Our friends who got married recently had this in their invitation :-
If you were thinking of giving a gift,
To help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house,
Would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift,
Feel free to surprise us in your own way.
It is a sweet poem, but at the same time, the last 2 lines suggest that it’s okay to still buy any gift.
And there’s also this :-
Love the joy of choosing gifts?
And wrapping the chosen captive?
If thoughts elude in this regard… money is attractive!
What the…? We’re not all English scholars!! Sorry, but that poem would just put me off and I probably would not even get the newlyweds a present just because they subjected my eyes to such a badly written poem!!
At the end of the day, if your friends are offended by your request for money instead of gifts, then they’re not really your friends are they?!
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