This year I decided to adopt new changes into my lifestyle. In case you don’t already know me, I am a SUPER negative person (even though I may come across quite a funny, light-hearted writer) AND I am basically a walking doormat for people to tread all over me AND I am a people pleaser and I get really sensitive when people don’t like me. WELL NO MORE PEOPLE!!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!! Here are 10 positive changes I have started to implement into my life as of 2013 :-
1. I am trying to become an optimist. Key word is “trying”. It isn’t easy for a negative person like me, but good thing my Husband is the MOST optimistic person I know because I am learning from him. And this is the MAIN change because everything other change follows on from being optimistic about everything in life…
2. I’ve given up trying to please people who have no regard for me whatsoever. I have learnt to accept that some people are just not meant to be my/our friend(s). In order to establish a good friendship, it has to be mutual. And sometimes, it is one-sided due to various reasons beyond my control so I have learnt to let go and not try and fix it. Read about Example A here. For some stupid reason, I dwelled WAAAAY too long on this person and even wrote a blog post about them!! WTF? No more!!! I don’t have to think or feel or see or hear from this person ever again and even if our paths cross again (which I highly doubt), I won’t even bother. It is over.
3. Melbourne is my home. At least for now. I have never liked Melbourne and it has never liked me. And initially, we were planning to stay here for 3-4 years and then move on…so in my head, I interpreted that the wrong way and never settled into life here. But now, after much thinking, it has dawned on me that no matter where we are or where we go to, I should treat the place that I am currently at as “home” – whether I like it or not.
4. Forming friendships with women. I come from a family dominated by women so I know all the emotional dramas, neediness and bitchiness that can arise from female friendships. And you know, having male friends was so much easier for me before marriage because I could flirt, tell my dodgy jokes, be one of the guys and be “The Drama Queen Attention Seeker”…but after marriage, all my single guy friends disappeared from my life and I don’t dare make friends with guys in Melbourne – I cannot deal with a jealous husband and he probably can’t deal with a flirtatious wife Anyway, I have found many lovely ladies to be friends with and I can actually be myself without feeling intimidated so YAY!!!
5. Don’t let the little things annoy me. Sometimes people or things or circumstances test my patience. And I have always been quite a patient person till a few months ago when the tiniest thing would bug the heck out of me. I started to hold tiny grudges and let it harbour in my heart. No more. Letting it all go. And I’m working on being patient again and the first thing is to stop letting little insignificant things annoy me. And then the next step is to work on the bigger things.
6. Eat healthier. I could eat junk food every single day. But I am trying to get the Husband and I into a healthier eating lifestyle. And we have started juicing and eating out less. However, saying that we over-indulged in McDonald’s recently so… :(
7. I have started swearing!! But only in my head. WTF? How can that be a positive change?! It is a positive change because instead of bottling it up and suppressing how I truly feel, I can rant endlessly and if I want to use a cuss word in there, I will. However, if I start expressing it ALOUD, I will get worried!!!
8. Doing more of the things I enjoy. I used to get sensitive and upset when people criticised me for being on social media and blogging all the time. EXCUSE ME? How rude! Do I criticise you if you enjoy doing housework / baking / reading / watching tv / going to the gym / sleeping / playing video games / shopping / watching sports / earning money? NO!!! So instead of trying to do what a “normal 30 plus year old wife should do”, I will do WHAT I WANT TO DO!!! I enjoy it so stuff you!!!
9. I will no longer be a doormat. This is a NEW change which I decided to adopt this month. For example, if someone says something that doesn’t agree with me, I have decided to speak up and defend myself. I have decided to become more expressive about it. If someone says something that upsets me, instead of pretending NOT to be upset, I will take them aside and let them know. If someone is taking advantage of me, it will STOP IMMEDIATELY! Also, if someone (who is not my mother) treats me like a kid or patronises me in any shape or form, I WILL LET THEM HAVE IT because I am sick to death of these type of people who think they know better.
10. I have decided to make more decisions in life. I am an indecisive person. I usually go along with other people’s decisions. NO MORE!!! I have to take control of my life. Of course, when it comes to decisions which involve me and my Husband, instead of letting him decide everything, I have decided to have some input. Finally!!! LOL. It’s funny. People think of me as the BOSS in our relationship when it is totally not true. If I was the Boss, would we be in Melbourne? Exactly!!! I am the weakest!!! Just because my Husband does the housework and spoils me, people think I order him to do it. Hello? I cannot order him to do anything!!! And I wouldn’t anyway. I am not his Mum and I don’t like it when wives order husbands around like they are children *shudder* - Apologies if you are reading this and you are female and you wear the pants in your relationship. Do not get offended!! My Mum wears the pants so go talk to her LOL!!!
Of course, I might “talk the talk, but not walk the walk” – but at least, I know I am trying to implement these changes because it will make me a much happier person.