#30daysofsharing | Day 3 : The Story about my Husband’s “Penis”

By Ling

This is the long-awaited story about my Husband’s “Penis”…

Are you ready to see a picture of my Husband’s “Penis”?
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BAM!!!!!

My Husband’s “Penis”

Yep, say Hello to Penis the Pillow.

I don’t know how, I don’t know when, I don’t know why (actually, I do know WHY…just read on…) but for some bizarre reason, we started nicknaming random objects around the house.  His pillow slash bolster was named Penis – because it is long (oo-er!) and it is floppy (oo-er!) and well, sometimes it gets horny (his words, not mine!) and sticks out of the pillowcase (AKA the Condom – again, his words, not mine!)

My Husband loves to sleep with Penis the Pillow!

Penis the Pillow and I are not BFFs (that’s Best Friends Forever).  We hate each other with a passion.  I hate it because it looks and smells disgusting covered in the Husband’s drools from when he cuddles it to sleep and especially when it sticks out of the case with the yukky itchy cheap pillow material oozing out.

Anyway, stay with me here.  There is a funny part to this bizarre story because last year, our guy friend’s parents came to stay with us for a few days.  Yes, let’s clarify this…  Our guy friend from Church – his PARENTS.  And they would be like the equivalent of some Auntie and Uncle in Church.  Except we didn’t know them beforehand.  So it’s not like me or my Husband grew up knowing them.  So almost strangers, I guess.

We were not used to having guests staying over at our tiny house so on that night, when they went to bed, we went to bed too.  This is what happened…

Him :  *whispers*  Oh look, Penis (the Pillow) is sticking out.  I think it’s horny again!
Me :  *forgets to whisper*  STOP IT!  NOOOO!!!
Him :  *waves Penis the Pillow in the air and shoves it near my face to annoy me*
Me :  THAT’S DISGUSTING!  I DON’T WANT IT!  STOP PUTTING YOUR PENIS IN MY FACE!

…and then we remembered we had guests…and we remembered the walls were thin as they were literally next door…and we burst into laughter…and we were totally red-faced in the morning.

Gosh, what must they think of us?!!

By the way, I managed to get rid of the Original Penis (it’s in the spare room for any overnight guests to use at their free will) and the Husband now owns a Green Penis.

Original Penis & Green Penis

As you can see Green Penis is longer, sturdier and cleaner looking – which makes the Original Penis look inadequate!

Hope this made you laugh as much as it made us laugh!  This is a true story…just ask the Auntie and Uncle who stayed over :P

Gosh, what must you think of me for writing the word Penis at least 15 times in this blog post?!!!

Bucket List Checklist :  Write a blog post containing the word Penis for a minimum of 15 times.  DONE!  *pats myself on the back*

Anyway, see you tomorrow for more #30daysofsharing.  How can I top this story??!!  I don’t think I can :P

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