Car Crash

By Ling

If you have been reading from the start of my blogs, you will have noticed that I have mentioned scars from a car crash.  It was 6 years and 8 days ago.  Sounds like a long time but I remember that night clearly.

Two of my friends – who are no longer my friends (reasons not related to the car crash) – Mr Driver and Ms Passenger were chatting away on the journey from Glasgow (my family home) to Dundee (my place of study) which takes 1.5 hours.  I was sleeping in the backseat.

So I have this weird habit – my feet like to breathe, so I take my shoes off in cars, cinemas, restaurants, wherever is convenient.  Anyway, he was cruising away at 80mph on the motorway, when suddenly, Ms Passenger spotted my sexy feet and told Mr Driver to look.  What did he do?  Yes, he turned his attention away from driving to LOOK AT MY FEET.  Dear drivers, never ever do that!

Not only did his face turn but his hands turned the steering wheel too.  The screams from Ms Passenger woke me up.  I remember I opened my eyes for 2 seconds.

I saw the car swerve into the left barrier, but Mr Driver tried to counteract this, but it didn’t work.  The car flew up into the air and it somersaulted a few times before finally landing in the middle of the motorway.

Mr Driver and Ms Passenger got some minor cuts, but nothing major.  They turned round to check on me….but wait a minute…WTF?

I was lying in the middle of the motorway!  Yes, I was!  Oncoming traffic had to avoid me!  What happened?  During the somersaults, I got chucked out the side window!!  Yes, SIDE WINDOW!  Not the front window.  But the tiny freakin’ side window!!!

I lost consciousness during this time.  But I remember this – no, my whole life didn’t flash before my eyes and no, I did not see the white tunnel.  But I saw green grass, blue sky, white clouds and hills and a sky view of a car driving along the mountainside, which then zoomed in slowly and I saw myself in the car.  An outer body experience??  I don’t know…but I can still remember…

I woke up, covered in glass, dirt and it was soooo cold.
I tried but I couldn’t move.
I felt warm blood trickle down my eyes.
I heard so many voices…“she’s waking up!”“She’s not dead!”“It’s okay the ambulance is on its way!”

All I wanted was my mum.  I was surprised to hear my calm and collected voice – “Please (please?  my manners were still working!!) call my Mum…the number is…”

Yep, I still remembered my phone number!
I remember the life skills my Dad taught me as a young child.  He always told me to keep my brain active.
I remember testing myself with questions (all in my head while this is going on) – “What is your name?”  ”What is your date of birth?”  ”What is the 7 times table?”

A kind passer-by had wrapped a car blanket round my body.  I was shivering so much.  My eye was really sore because of the grit in it.  (Thank God I was sleeping because I had taken my glasses off.  If I had kept them on, maybe glass would have cut my eyes)

The ambulance arrived.  Sirens.  Wowee!!  I got the oxygen mask and boy, it was amazing.  I still remember that my breathing went to the ultimate levels of being high!!

It’s a miracle – I had no broken bones, but suffered bruises and lacerations on my face, body, back, neck, chest, legs, arms and chunks of my hair fell out…

I have never been confident about my looks but when I saw myself for the first time in the mirror, I almost wished that I had died.  At least I knew I would be in Heaven and didn’t have my ugly facial scars.

But I guess it wasn’t my time.  I must still be alive for some reason….and yes, I am still wondering why….waiting…waiting for my calling….

I used to want the “study hard / graduate / career / money / marriage / children” thing…but is that fulfilling??

Sometimes when I touch my scars, I still feel the pain.  It looks so ugly, but it reminds me of God’s love…
The first time I went out after the car crash, this little girl about 5 years old, cried out for her mum because my face scared her.  I’m sorry.

Remember Ex-Boyfriend #2 from here?  He told me that no guy would love me because of my scars.  And I believed this lie for so many years…  It’s a lie!!!

I believe in inner beauty.  I may not have outer beauty with my scars, but at least I can work on my inner beauty.

Thank God for saving me.

7 Comments on Car Crash

  1. weemel
    October 21, 2004 at 10:50 am (10 years ago)

    WHOO HOO you fixed the comments =) shame they had to go though – they were pretty cool.

    Don’t you worry about spewing “religious talk”. It don’t mean anything anyway – God looks at the heart!! He’d rather stutters and stammers from a genuine child of his than eloquent hypocrisy.

    Y’know, if there’s one thing i’ve learnt in life, it’s to “seek first the kingdom of God, and everything else will be given to you as well”.

    Just live for God babes. Love God first and then you’ll be able to love yourself because He loves you so much. And THEN…. you’ll be able to love the next guy that comes along =)

    Oh… you’re in ashley’s group?? I might be joining too coz i can’t go to mines…. i was wondering if you were! hmm. Don’t stop going ok? It’ll get better =)

    [Reply]

  2. vinchesso
    October 16, 2004 at 8:28 pm (10 years ago)

    hey sexy ling, erm dont worry about the past, but look for the future, for Our Lord in Heaven will guide us thru those tough times and the mountains of good fortune. 

    Hey if i didnt even read this I guess I would have missed out.  My life has been a bit like yours when it comes to friends, where you fink their your friend but they see you as a “friend”.  hence how I’m never making myself close to anyone anymore, hurt is bad.  But God teaches us in that infamous line: to love thy neighbour… so ask forgiveness for both these two people. 

    Hey but yeah, I’m here for you if you need ppl to talk to , cos dont worry I wont be gushing afta you cos your 24 hehe…. so you can treat me like a lil sis! besdies, Viv is mine!!!

    Oh final word, baby popping machine? wait another 5 months and 4 days time… God’ll tell you something…

    Hey sorry for such a random commment

    Sexy V

    [Reply]

  3. seanafunk
    October 15, 2004 at 5:13 pm (10 years ago)

    Hey! this is one of the more touching stories I’ve read on xanga! keep it up!

    [Reply]

  4. bklchan
    October 15, 2004 at 3:04 pm (10 years ago)

    DAMN ENOCH TOOK MY LINE!!!! hahahaha

    anyway thats the 2nd time i heard that story and it still excites me when i read it…. see ya soon?

    have fun at the party!

    bing bro x

    [Reply]

  5. BubbLes_yvee
    October 12, 2004 at 7:21 pm (10 years ago)

    hey ling! ur accident sounds scary!!! erm… can i make a suggestion to u….. why dont u consider about going on a missions trip (church) to other countries…. or more dan one country…. one after the other…… cos i know of sum ppl hoo done dat….adn they sed it was gd….! u can go to canada….its sooo koool.. the pl from vancouver are really nice… seeee if u get to organise to go to a missions trip…. ur lucky…. u say ur 24 but u havent got much going on in ur life at present..but there is…. i want to go on a missions trip.. but sadly i cant….so have a think about it… and oh ye…. i saaaaaaw u!!!on sunday, u were with dat sean person… and u were at the bus stop… and i was ont he bus… which was liek right in front of ur face.. and u didnt see me….

    [Reply]

  6. enoch_hlh
    October 12, 2004 at 6:59 pm (10 years ago)

    wah… even with the scars do you look so leng!? i cant imagine how leng were you before that la…

    [Reply]

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