2007 isn’t over yet, but I am already looking forward to 2008!
My birthday is 20th of August so in 2008, it’s going to be 20/08/2008!
As you know, I have a special Diary where I scribble my innermost secrets every day.
- Neat legible handwriting which fills up the entire page = happy day filled with lovely happy thoughts
- Messed up illegible handwriting which fills up the entire page = angry and depressed thoughts
- Sloppy bullet points = boring day with nothing interesting to remember
- Blank pages = the day is so memorable (good/bad) that I don’t have to write anything cos it is etched into my memory
- Extras = pictures/photos/ticket stubs
Only special people/events/feelings/stuff gets written in the Diary. My diaries are actually very interesting! I have let some people read extracts of it…and they have laughed at my melodramatic writing flair…so much so, that they say I should see if I can get it printed!! HAHA…as if!!
My childhood dream was to write a novel and get it published…maybe I can achieve it one day.
Anyway, here is a sprinkling of what was included in my 2007 Diary :-
- The New Year X-rated girly party of 4 (me, Mrs Diva, Ms Miaow and Ms Law) in my attic which some boys (Mr Pony and Mr Dragon) gatecrashed and they didn’t want to leave in the end!!
- Confirming that the statistic of the first Monday of February is the most popular day to pull a sickie is indeed true – I was suffering from sleep deprivation!
- Getting hooked on the TV series Heroes and wishing that I was Hiro Nakamura so I could go back and forth in time
- I am a natural born worrier with the wildest imagination – I thought that my brother had been abducted because when I went to collect him from school, he was 10 minutes late and I panicked badly…but I wasn’t silly enough to call the police. On a separate occasion, I was late for 10 minutes to collect him and again, I thought he had been abducted / ran over by a bus / fell down a hole but he had wandered to the nearby McDonald’s!!
- Playing this crazy game at a Church Weekend Retreat with Ichthus where we had to eat XXXhot jalapeno crisps and drink fizzy juice
- Sleepless nights dreaming when/where/how he would propose and then we he did in Venice, it was so romantic…and then choosing the bling engagement ring…the engagement party with water fight and yummy cakes….and then trying on pretty dresses…and then he left…and then it was over…
- Learning to do Botox and then being Botox-ed so that I had a permanently surprised expression
- My summer holiday in Spain and Malaysia was amazing and my sudden newfound interest to travel and see the world (I usually hate travelling)
- Getting fit – the gym, dancing
- Wearing bright red/pink dresses to weddings to see if it would detract attention from the brides…but no way, no-one outshines the bride on their wedding day!!
- Discovering facebook – fb is my new bf! – scrabulous is fabulous! – tag you’re it! – reviving / maintaining / making new friends
- Other memorable moments sprinkled throughout the year
My Diary 2008 is brand spanking new and I cannot wait to write on those fresh new pages. I am excited. It’s gonna be like Bridget Jones’ Diary!! haha.
In conclusion : Ling wishes you a happy blessed 2008.
Make-up is defined as cosmetics which are used to enhance or alter facial appearance
I was feeling really ill the other day and looking really sickly and pale. I basically rolled out of bed and threw on some shabby clothes, didn’t brush my hair and plodded to work. After work, I desperately wanted to go home to my bed, but I had to go and do Christmas shopping for my colleagues.
While I was there, I met up with two of my guy friends – Mr SW and Mr Pony.
As soon as Mr Pony saw me, he said “OHMYGOODNESS Ling, you NEED make-up pronto!” and wanted to drag me to the shops with make-up.
Mr SW told him to leave me alone as I was sick and “…besides, she’s getting married so it doesn’t matter anyway!” - Clearly, Mr SW doesn’t read my blog – how do you tell your friends that you are no longer getting married? (That should be a future blog!)
Anyway, I was giving the “I don’t give a damn” plus “I’m sick” plus “It’s what inside that counts” excuses.
Yes recently, I’ve been trying to let my inner beauty shine through and dazzle people and the thought of dolling up for work means getting half an hour’s less sleep…NO WAY!!
So, there I was, trying to be proud of my “au naturale” sickly non-make-up look and avoiding Mr Pony’s attempts at dragging me to the make-up counter….
…and we bumped into Mr Sheep – this guy I have met twice where we’re still at that awkwardish acquaintance stage.
And immediately, I tried to conceal my eyebags and deathly skin with my scarf and hair. It is not as if he is interested in me in any way, but I just felt self-conscious and ashamed of my natural looks….
I thought about this incident afterwards. It just highlights how stupid I am to think that some cosmetic pigments would make me look and feel good. I feel so pathetic.
I am going to try and be a more confident woman in 2008 and not feel less pretty without perfectly coiffed hair and perfectly plastered make-up.
So, remember if you see me walking around looking ill and tired, I probably am not….it’s just that I look like that without make-up!
Please let my inner Ling beauty radiate through and let me dazzle you with my dazzling smile.
Do you remember when you were a child and when you fell, you would call out for your mummy and she would hold you in her arms and give you the best cuddle in the world and the pain would go away….??
I don’t remember that…basically because I lived with my nanny for years while my parents worked…and when I moved back with my parents, I cried for days and days for my nanny…
My parents and I never really bonded when I was younger.
They were typical Chinese parents….never “I love you”, never “you did really well”…always “a B is not good enough. You must get A’s”…always “You’re useless”…and I believed them…
That was then.
This is now…
I was crying like big bad tears the other day when I was in bed…crying into my pillow…crying, crying, crying….and then I ran for my Mummy and she was the best!! She cuddled me, stroked my hair, called me beautiful and said she loves me….and I believe her…
I have goals (major and minor) that I try to attain within a certain period of time.
Some goals I succeed – e.g. buy my own flat
Some goals I never manage – e.g. learn to swim
Some goals I am still working for – e.g. writing my first novel
The goal I was concentrating on recently has disintegrated.
For a long time, I had put in so much hard work for it…planning and preparing…dreaming during the day, dreaming during the night…meeting with my friends and discussing ideas…buying magazines to get inspiration…sharing to my family…sharing to my colleagues…dreaming, smiling, dreaming…
The problem was that this goal was supposed to be between two people…two people’s goal to achieve the same thing…
I think I was so caught up with it all and didn’t see the signs. Actually, I think I saw the signs but I just could not face them.
I was going forward, but the other person was going in a different direction…the opposite direction…sometimes, we were walking the same way, but then after he discussed it with another, he ran off…but then he came back, then he ran off, then it was on, then it was off….
It brings me with great unhappiness to announce this, but yes, it’s true, the engagement is off and the relationship is on a “break”(-up??), and not by my choice.
Not all fairytales have happy endings! It’s a LIE! I am so heartbroken…
But hey, even though I’ve been poorly (insomnia and losing weight and lan ocean of tears) — I don’t want your pity please — good things have emerged from this, which include growing closer to God and newfound and rediscovered friendships.
I was in danger of becoming a pathetic, depressive, boring, lonely, withdrawn and old gal…but you know, I reckon I am a (semi-)confident, friendly, funny, vibrant and cute young woman !!! (- this feeling had better last!! Who needs guys anyway?)
And for anyone else who is going through a break-up, please read my advice on how to get over a break-up.