This year I decided to adopt new changes into my lifestyle.  In case you don’t already know me, I am a SUPER negative person (even though I may come across quite a funny, light-hearted writer) AND I am basically a walking doormat for people to tread all over me AND I am a people pleaser and I get really sensitive when people don’t like me.  WELL NO MORE PEOPLE!!!  I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!  Here are 10 positive changes I have started to implement into my life as of 2013 :-

1.  I am trying to become an optimist.  Key word is “trying”.  It isn’t easy for a negative person like me, but good thing my Husband is the MOST optimistic person I know because I am learning from him.  And this is the MAIN change because everything other change follows on from being optimistic about everything in life…

2.  I’ve given up trying to please people who have no regard for me whatsoever.  I have learnt to accept that some people are just not meant to be my/our friend(s).  In order to establish a good friendship, it has to be mutual.  And sometimes, it is one-sided due to various reasons beyond my control so I have learnt to let go and not try and fix it.  Read about Example A here.  For some stupid reason, I dwelled WAAAAY too long on this person and even wrote a blog post about them!!  WTF?  No more!!!  I don’t have to think or feel or see or hear from this person ever again and even if our paths cross again (which I highly doubt), I won’t even bother.  It is over.

3.  Melbourne is my home.  At least for now.  I have never liked Melbourne and it has never liked me.  And initially, we were planning to stay here for 3-4 years and then move on…so in my head, I interpreted that the wrong way and never settled into life here.  But now, after much thinking, it has dawned on me that no matter where we are or where we go to, I should treat the place that I am currently at as “home” – whether I like it or not.

4.  Forming friendships with women.  I come from a family dominated by women so I know all the emotional dramas, neediness and bitchiness that can arise from female friendships.  And you know, having male friends was so much easier for me before marriage because I could flirt, tell my dodgy jokes, be one of the guys and be “The Drama Queen Attention Seeker”…but after marriage, all my single guy friends disappeared from my life and I don’t dare make friends with guys in Melbourne – I cannot deal with a jealous husband and he probably can’t deal with a flirtatious wife  Anyway, I have found many lovely ladies to be friends with and I can actually be myself without feeling intimidated so YAY!!!

5.  Don’t let the little things annoy me.  Sometimes people or things or circumstances test my patience.  And I have always been quite a patient person till a few months ago when the tiniest thing would bug the heck out of me.  I started to hold tiny grudges and let it harbour in my heart.  No more.  Letting it all go.  And I’m working on being patient again and the first thing is to stop letting little insignificant things annoy me.  And then the next step is to work on the bigger things.

6.  Eat healthier.  I could eat junk food every single day.  But I am trying to get the Husband and I into a healthier eating lifestyle.  And we have started juicing and eating out less.  However, saying that we over-indulged in McDonald’s recently so…  :(

7.  I have started swearing!!  But only in my head.  WTF?  How can that be a positive change?!  It is a positive change because instead of bottling it up and suppressing how I truly feel, I can rant endlessly and if I want to use a cuss word in there, I will.  However, if I start expressing it ALOUD, I will get worried!!!

8.  Doing more of the things I enjoy.  I used to get sensitive and upset when people criticised me for being on social media and blogging all the time.  EXCUSE ME?  How rude!  Do I criticise you if you enjoy doing housework / baking / reading / watching tv / going to the gym / sleeping / playing video games / shopping / watching sports / earning money?  NO!!!  So instead of trying to do what a “normal 30 plus year old wife should do”, I will do WHAT I WANT TO DO!!!  I enjoy it so stuff you!!!

9.  I will no longer be a doormat.  This is a NEW change which I decided to adopt this month.  For example, if someone says something that doesn’t agree with me, I have decided to speak up and defend myself.  I have decided to become more expressive about it.  If someone says something that upsets me, instead of pretending NOT to be upset, I will take them aside and let them know.  If someone is taking advantage of me, it will STOP IMMEDIATELY!  Also, if someone (who is not my mother) treats me like a kid or patronises me in any shape or form, I WILL LET THEM HAVE IT because I am sick to death of these type of people who think they know better.

10.  I have decided to make more decisions in life.  I am an indecisive person.  I usually go along with other people’s decisions.  NO MORE!!!  I have to take control of my life.  Of course, when it comes to decisions which involve me and my Husband, instead of letting him decide everything, I have decided to have some input.  Finally!!! LOL.  It’s funny.  People think of me as the BOSS in our relationship when it is totally not true.  If I was the Boss, would we be in Melbourne?  Exactly!!!  I am the weakest!!!  Just because my Husband does the housework and spoils me, people think I order him to do it.  Hello?  I cannot order him to do anything!!!  And I wouldn’t anyway.  I am not his Mum and I don’t like it when wives order husbands around like they are children *shudder*  - Apologies if you are reading this and you are female and you wear the pants in your relationship.  Do not get offended!!  My Mum wears the pants so go talk to her LOL!!!

Of course, I might “talk the talk, but not walk the walk” – but at least, I know I am trying to implement these changes because it will make me a much happier person.

]]> http://www.lingtung.com/10-positive-changes-for-2013/feed/ 0 http://www.lingtung.com/living-the-dream/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=living-the-dream http://www.lingtung.com/living-the-dream/#comments Sun, 10 Feb 2013 07:05:14 +0000 Ling http://www.lingtung.com/?p=5121

Sometimes I wish life would slow down so I could take it all in.  There are so many things that I want to learn…I want to touch…I want to experience…I want to see…I want to live.

Contrary to the moodiness conveyed in the black and white photo, my life is bursting full of colours.  It’s hard to describe.  I have so many ideas and thoughts and dreams in my head which keep me excited and awake at all hours of the day.  But the question is how to translate it into real life.

Life is so complex.  Sometimes you can be so low you wonder how you can get back up again.  But sometimes you’re so high and you want to go higher.  Currently, I’m on a high so don’t drag me down, aye!

Anyway, I was speaking to someone recently and they asked about my beauty blogging (you know, the other blog(s) I write – the makeup and girly stuff)…and as much as I love it, it doesn’t define me as a person.  Writing is my passion, not beauty products.  I started blogging over 9 years ago for the love of writing, not for the love of beauty products.  The way I apply my lipstick will not change anyone’s life…but the way I write can stir up people’s emotions and can make them laugh, cry…or yawn!  That makes me happy.

My dream has always been to be a successful writer.  But how can that be defined?  Does beauty blogging count?  For me, no.  But I will be living the dream soon…my writing dream…

Apologies for my random mish mash of thoughts.  It is supposed to confuse you.  And yes, there are hidden meanings, as always.

I wanted to tell you a funny story…but I guess I’ll save that for another day…and another place

Don’t spend your life chasing your dreams.  Live life.

- Ling

*Sponsored post by Nuffnang

Last week, I returned from a 2 week holiday to Hong Kong with my Mum, Dad and Sister. As you all know, I left Scotland and all of my close family and friends in 2009 and moved to Australia so spending time with my family has been very precious.

We had a lot of family fun together in Hong Kong – shopping, eating, attending a family wedding, staying up late and watching DVDs together. It was perfect to kickstart the year with this holiday.

It wasn’t always like this.

As I have blogged about this before, my Mum used to be addicted to gambling and she spent most of her time in the casino so we rarely spent time together as a family – I am the eldest of 7 children so we really needed both Mum and Dad!!! But the best thing is she got the help she needed to overcome this gambling addiction and it changed our lives forever.

Back when I was struggling with my Mum’s gambling problem, I had no-one to turn to and it was a very stressful situation to be in as a young teen… But nowadays, there are so many ways to get help.

***

If you have an issue with gambling or have a loved one with a gambling problem, you can contact Gambler’s Help to seek advice. Gambling doesn’t just affect one individual, it affects that individual’s family and friends as well. Confronting a gambler about their problem isn’t easy – believe me, I have been there. The team at Gambler’s Help understand that it’s a difficult conversation to have, and they can help you approach it in the right way.

Gambler’s Help offers a range of services including telephone, face-to-face, group, couples, family and financial counselling options, while Gambling Help online provides information and advice, live chat and email support.

 All services are free and confidential and help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

So to speak to someone directly, contact Gambler’s Help on 1800 858 858, or to find out some more info and check out the live chat or email counselling, go to gamblinghelponline.org.au .

 Hopefully, you or your loved one can get the help required to overcome their gambling problem.

Yes, I have been MIA.

No, I didn’t keep to my promises of blogging those last few days of my #30daysofsharing.

But HAPPY NEW YEAR!  I know I am 28 days late… but what can I do to make it up to you?  A new sponsored blog post in a few hours is coming your way!  And I will have more to update you throughout the week.  *pinky promise*

Hubby demonstrating what I did yesterday…

I had the most interesting day yesterday.  I was crouching on the floor taking photos of lipsticks for my beauty blog when I stood up and somehow head-butted the corner of the table.  It was AGONY and I clutched my head and rubbed it to ease the pain…walked over to the mirror and saw this…

My Mum thought I was experimenting a make-up look for Halloween *_*

Yep, blood was dripping down my head onto my face.  And instead of shouting for help, I took a photo with my phone because I thought it looked pretty cool.  Hey, I was in shock!!!

Anyway, I calmly walked downstairs and called out for the Mr who was hanging out with one of his new buddies, R.  And then I started freaking out but I didn’t want to look un-cool in front of R.  We’re new friends so I didn’t want to let him see me cry in pain so I didn’t make a big drama queen fuss…but I was silently screaming!!!  Blood was EVERYWHERE!!!  It seeped under my fingernails…all over my hair…down my temples…

Mr & R inspecting my head wound with what looks like a business card??? LOL. Look at my face!!!

And then I started laughing because it was SO FUNNY!!!  I laughed and then I cried from the pain.

Meanwhile, the Mr was running up and down to get the first aid kit.  We actually had a good stash of saline, anaesthetic and bandages because he had sawed his hand a couple of months ago (he needed 6 stitches).  Yes, we are an accident prone couple.

He called the hospital because the cut was deep and there was blood galore.  I didn’t really want to go because I hate doctors and all that jazz.  But then because it was the weekend, we got a quote of $55 for the consultation alone…and being relatively poor and being extreme tighta$$ed people, we didn’t go.

Deep bleeding gash! Notice the big white scar perpendicular to wound. That was from a car accident in 1998.

I just lay down with an ice pack and gauze and popped painkillers…and the Mr and his friend went out shopping for food!  I know, it’s nuts…but like I said, he made a new friend so we were just, you know, trying to act calm and collected.

After 4 hours, R and fiancee left…and the wound was still bleeding and I felt sick and I was starting to feel woozy and I was seeing black floaty things in my vision so we went to the public hospital (where it’s free) – but I got turned off by the 4 hour waiting time so I demanded we go home so I could go to sleep.

Meanwhile, I was googling all my symptoms and I got really paranoid.  Here are my thoughts :-

1.  I’ve previously had head injuries in the same spot from a car accident in 1998 (read about it here).  You can see the scar in the photo.  Anyway, it means that I am more likely to get dementia in the future.  It made me think of the film The Notebook and the name of the main male character  is Noah!!!  It’s a SIGN!!!  Maybe one day, I will be like the old lady and I won’t remember anything and the Mr will have to remind me who I am by reading me through my blog entries!!!!

2.  And then I thought of Liam Neeson’s wife who died after bumping her head from a ski-ing accident.  What if I am dying of a slow death???

Because I thought I was dying, I started leaving instructions to the Mr :-

1.  I have money in my Paypal account – the password is….  Don’t let them keep that money!  Use it to buy me a pink Chanel handbag!!  Actually, give it to my sister so it won’t be wasted.  Don’t bury it with me!!!

2.  If I die, you have to carry on my legacy and blog for me on http://www.lingtung.com  – the password is…

3.  As for my beauty blog, don’t worry Gigi (my beauty blog intern) knows my password – tell her to keep blogging for me!

And then I cried like a cry baby because he said, “Don’t worry…I’ll see you in Heaven!” – like I was REALLY going to die!!!  And then I thought, cool…if I die, yeah, I’m pretty happy…it’s cool…I’ve lived a good life…wish I had a baby before I died though…oh well…and I wish I wrote a best-selling novel…!!!!  ”Oh, can you call my work tomorrow if I die and tell them what happened and to cancel my patients.”  Yes, these are the thoughts of a paranoid loony!!!!

Anyway, after sleeping a good sleep considering I am an insomniac, I woke up with yukky hair and a slightly sore head and I went to work as normal.  My first patient was a molar tooth extraction and I was feeling bit woozy but I did it!!!  I saw the Doctor in the afternoon…

Update after seeing Doctor

My vision is still a bit weird with those black floaters…but oh well, I hope I will be fine tomorrow.  I am DYING to wash my hair.  And the Mr is having so much fun teasing me and my clumsiness!!!  LOL.  I bet he won’t laugh if I don’t wake up tomorrow!!!!  PARANOIA!!!!!!!!

Last week’s latter half of the week, I couldn’t do that.  I couldn’t move my neck for 3-4 days.  I was dosed up on painkillers – no wonder I am super depressed (side effects of drugs) and look like a bloated whale!!!!  Anyway, I am still not 100% fixed…and it really frustrates me because I can’t do things like a normal 30+ year old.  I had to take time off work YET AGAIN!  And I even broke down at work because I felt like a failure.  I can’t live like this forever so hopefully, I will get miraculously cured one day…

Anyway, I was telling the Husband that is probably one of the reasons why we haven’t been blessed with babies yet because of my failing health.  I mean, it’s funny because I am seriously not like any of the demented ladies (sorry, it’s true) out there who count the days till they ovulate and time everything to a tee.  I am still trying to act cool about it…but it doesn’t help when people keep asking me the same “Are you pregnant?” questions!  Why won’t they stop???!!!!!  How can I prove it to you?  Do I have to pee on a stick to show you?  Do you want me to punch my bloated belly to prove it?

And hey, don’t get me started about the gym…  I cannot go to the gym when I cannot move my neck right?  I was also told that I had to NOT use my laptop for a few days – I nearly died.  I sat on the couch and watched tv and ate McDonald’s.  It was SOOOO boring!!!  I also read a book.

And I know – I will be back soon to finish off #30daysofsharing…not that I have anything else really to share.  I think I have shared my entire being!!!

If you have missed my voice, go watch my newest beauty video here.  And if you have missed my oh-so-personal-but-its-kinda-sick-but-funny stories, read this now.  Of course if you stalk me on all my different blogs, you have probably seen and read it already.  In that case, goodnight!

On September 29th, my Dad turns 60!!!!  Happy birthday Dad!!!  I will have to do something really special on my blog when I get back.  It may be similar to a video I did for my Mum when it was her birthday last year.  Did you watch it?  { here it is }

Have a fantastic end to September and I will see you on the blog in October – which is only a few days away anyway.

BTW, if you really must, head to my beauty blog for a funny story about what I thought was a back massager… { Lelo }  BUT do not read it if you are a prude.  :P