Galbi Tang

By Ling

Last week, my friends and I were at the beach when this European guy approached my girl friend Miss JJ. He was carrying a bottle of beer and asking bizarre questions.  I have learnt from previous experience to ignore and walk on when strange men approach me.

Miss JJ is a nice girl and too polite to tell strangers to get lost.  She even gave him her REAL name!!! I just didn’t like this dude because he was clearly alcohol-intoxicated and the scary part was when he followed us when we started walking away…

I gave her some wise words later – “Miss JJ, NEVER ever give strangers your REAL name.  Always have a fake name ready!”

My sister, Sis 4, also agreed and we shared our fake names.  Sis 4 usually goes by the name Sharon.  She also has a fake Chinese name – Ga Ling!

I usually use the name Sarah.  Plain and simple.

However, after a silly night out, we decided to change our fake names.

Miss JJ became Fergalicious Bring It Take It Bimbimbap Chan.
Sis 4 became Boom Boom Bap.

Ridiculously FAKE! Anyone can spot that these names are FAKE a mile away!!!

I, on the other hand, choose a more discreet and believeable name – Galbi Tang.

Galbi Tang is actually Korean beef soup!!!  LOL!

Well, a couple of mornings ago, I was innocently walking to work, slurping on my freshly-made smoothie.  I walked into the building and pressed for the lift when this dude started talking to me.

Dude : Hi, is there a coffee shop near here?
Me : Oh I dunno. I’m new here.

Dude : Hey, is that a Cantonese accent I hear? (WTF is a Cantonese accent??!!)
Me : Erm, no. I’m Scottish.
Dude : Oh yes, I can hear it now…

(Lift arrives but the Dude keeps talking…)

Dude : But you look Cantonese… (okay, I’m Chinese and EVEN I sometimes cannot tell whether Asian people are from China or Hong Kong or Malaysia or Singapore or Japan or other Asian race so how can this Caucasian dude know?)
Me : Erm…well…my parents are from Hong Kong…
Dude : HONG KONG? Wow! I’m planning to go there next year and I’m also taking Cantonese lessons…Ngor jong yee heung gong…(=
I like Hong Kong)

(I press lift again)

Me : Oh yeah, that’s good…
Dude : Hey listen, why don’t we get together some time and we can discuss Hong Kong together? I’ll give you my business card. I’m Dude and what’s your name again?
Me : Ling…
(DOH!!!! He caught me off guard and I gave him my REAL name!!)
Dude : Do you work here?
Me : Yes…(
DOH!!! I’m usually good at lying…what happened???!!) Do you work here?
Dude : No I don’t.

He hands me his business card.  We say our goodbyes.  And then guess what? He walks out of the building….

Yes, the stalker Dude followed me into my work building after spying me on the streets!!!  Stalker alert!!

His business card claims he’s a doctor and he owns some medical clinic and he has bad teeth by the way!

I hope he doesn’t come looking for me.   I feel so dumb for giving him my real name.  It was an opportunity for me to use my fake name Galbi Tang but I wasted it.  LOL.

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