How I Cheated On My Husband

Posted by Ling on October 4, 2011

Aha!  I caught your attention there, didn’t I?  Well, it’s not technically true about me cheating on my husband…but there is semi-truth to this story which I am about to share with you all.  There were two incidents which happened yesterday and today.  Allow me to share :-

1.  She touched my breasts!!!

A while ago, I won a competition with the prize being a pampering session at a Thai spa place.  So yesterday, I toddled along to my pampering session which started off really well with a nice foot soak followed by a mini massage which relaxed me.  I was then led to my own room where I was told by the Massage Lady to strip off, put on a pair of paper knickers and lie face down on the massage bed.  If you know me, then you will know that I am too polite and shy to say no, so I went along with this.

So for the next 10 minutes, I was lying face down getting a body scrub.  I did feel rather violated when she lifted up the back of the paper knickers into my butt crack to scrub my butt.  I just buried my face into the pillow and pretended I was somewhere else.  However, I was not prepared for this next part.

“Turn over please.”  

In my head, this was not a request but a demand.  I swallowed hard and turned over….oh wait, she covered me with a cloth for my top half and proceeded to scrub my legs.  I relaxed a little…

…until she finished with my legs and then lifted off the cloth.  Oh yes, she did.

I closed my eyes in horror as her hands made her way to my chest, rubbing in the body scrub and massaging body parts which only my Husband should be touching and nobody else!!!!!

Of course, being the Oscar-winning actress that I am, my expressions did not give anything away.  My fists were unclenched and I acted as if this was the most normal thing in the world.  Of course, females massage my boobs all the time.  Pfft!  Inside, I was dying and if you examined me closely, you would have noticed that my jaw muscles were tense as my teeth were clenched shut.

It felt like she was massaging my chest forever.  I wondered what my nipples were doing…I wondered what we would have for dinner…I wondered how I could explain this to the Husband…I wondered what his reaction would be…I knew he would laugh…and he did when I told him later what had happened.

Of course, I didn’t cheat on my Husband as I felt no sexual feelings WHATSOEVER but you know…I felt like I had cheated on him.  Just because.  Too intimate for my liking.  Ugh.

2.  I had coffee with my ex-boyfriend!!!

Say what???  No, I’m just exaggerating here.  Hear me out.  So I went for this job interview today.  Instead of the usual dentist job interview where I go to the dental surgery and get quizzed by the principal dentist, I was approached by a recruitment agent and told to meet at a cafe where we could have an informal chat to see if I would be suitable for his client (i.e. the principal dentist).  Before anyone gets too excited, this is just a short-term job (aka locum) for 5 weeks.

Our appointment was at 4pm, but he was late.  30 minutes late in fact.  I was punctual as usual.  I entered the cafe where there were no other customers.  I sat down and ordered an iced coffee.  Meanwhile, I didn’t want to look like a loser so I brought out my phone and started to read some emails and whatnot.  10 minutes later, I got bored and started to let my imagination wander.

I thought to myself…I wonder what the staff at the cafe think of me.  I wonder if they are thinking of me.  Maybe they think I’m on a blind date.  Maybe they think I’ve been stood up by a blind date.  Oh my gosh!  Who goes on blind dates these days?  Oh wait, I know she does.  Talking of dating, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything dating on my blog.  I wonder if I can think of a good post to write on blind dates on my blog.  I wonder if anyone reads my blog these days.  Maybe it’s time to update it tonight.  Yeah, good plan.  Oh wait, aren’t I supposed to be doing some housework while Hubby studies for his exams…?  Why is this guy taking so long?  Oh…is it this Chinese guy who’s just walked in?  Give him eye contact.  Okay, look away…it’s not him.  Oh my gosh!  Do you think that Chinese guy thought I gave him “the eye”??!!!  Flash your wedding ring.  Yes, flash it in his eyes.  30 minutes…what is going on?  Oh wait…it must be him!

In walks the Recruitment Guy.  I contemplated standing up but then I didn’t.  He looked at me and I looked at him.

“Hi, I’m Ling” and shake his hand.  Firm handshake.  I am a professional, dontcha know?!

He sits down and orders an OJ.  The waitress says, “What?”  He says, “Orange juice” and she says, “We don’t have orange juice.”  A cafe that doesn’t serve orange juice??  Bizarre!

Anyway, he starts talking and I am trying to look and act professional here.  I maintain eye contact and nod along to what he is saying, but at the back of my mind, I just know that there’s something about him.  Something.

I am usually very good at multi-tasking but it gets a bit difficult when we’re talking business here.  It’s not until he takes a sip of his green tea when it hits me!!!

And it hits me HARD!

O.  M.  G!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s HIM!!!!

Recruitment Guy has the same teeth and jaw structure as a guy I once dated.

Stop staring!!!!!!

Don’t smile!  Oh my gosh.  The smile is the same.  The front teeth are the same.

Don’t look…don’t look…DON’T LOOK!!!

But it’s too late.  And suddenly, instead of a job interview, I feel like I’ve rewinded time and I am on a date with an ex-boyfriend.

Of course, I know it’s not him.  But you know, sometimes some things trigger buried memories which should stay buried.  Ugh!

The annoying thing is that I will have to see Recruitment Guy again for the interview at the dental surgery.  I must not look at his teeth ever again.  *shudders*

Of course, I tell the Husband this as soon as he gets home.  And of course, he laughs and moves onto the next subject.

And there you go, ladies and gentlemen.  I’ve had an interesting two days where I somehow cheated on my Husband, involuntarily!!!

So let me know if you’ve got any “cheating” stories to share.  After all sharing is caring.