I Feel So Sad
Posted by Ling on April 28, 2004
First and foremost, my gran is in hospital again because she has internal bleeding. I was speaking to my mum last night & she was soooooooooo upset that she couldn’t speak to me…………and I feel like….I feel like….well, one part of me is like, God take her away…release the pain….but another part is like, don’t take my granny…I want my kids to know her….oh I dunno….fighting back the tears…feeling the huge lump in my throat….go away!!!!
Secondly, I was physically sick 7 times on Monday night because of this…actually, I MADE myself sick…it was like history repeating itself…. path to self-destruction…………………………………………………….
1. *making myself sick*….not enough to kill me…but enough to rot my teeth
2. *taking pills*…not enough to kill me…but enough to keep me sedated
3. *slicing body parts*…not enough to kill me…but enough to scar my body
Man…this is depressing sh*t…I shud stop…
No, please don’t give me the lecture…”Ling, don’t be so stupid…”
No, please don’t give me the sympathy…”Ling, you deserve better…”
No, please don’t give me the ‘weird looks’…”Ling, you’re a psycho…”
No, please don’t tell my mum…she’s got enough on her plate…
No, please don’t give me the sudden phone calls or sudden texts when you don’t usually do it…
It doesn’t matter…
Yes, you can pray for me…
enoch_hlh said,
ive been through a similar spell recently and got out of it… wish i could give you some kinda support but we live so far away… :( but do you know for how long you can share when you have someone to talk to? it can even take you the whole day to fully express yourself!
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