Posts Tagged ‘death’

My Maternal Gran #2

By Ling

Often, I get criticism for being a Facebook addict.  Often, I get criticism for being a blogger.  But it’s okay, I just ignore them because Facebook and my blog are critical in my life.  Any time, my family want to contact me, they do it via Facebook, even when it is urgent!  Bizarre, I know, but that’s how we roll.  Any time, I feel I need to express something, I do it by blogging.  I can’t talk about it, but I need to write about it.  Bizarre, I know, but it’s therapeutic for me.

Last night, my sister sent me a Facebook message telling me that my maternal Gran had fallen ill with pneumonia.  I had left my phone at home (thus I did not have access to internet) and didn’t find out till a couple of hours later.  Immediately, I rang home to find out what was going on.  They didn’t have much to say except that my Gran was in a critical condition.

After the phone call, I cried for half an hour and prayed for her.  I went to take a shower and then checked Facebook again and my sister had message again saying that my Gran had passed away.  At this point, I was numb.  I called my sister’s mobile phone and my Mum answered and before I said anything, she knew it was me.  And then we both broke down and cried.

I have been re-reading the blogs about my Gran today.  Back in April 2008, can you remember I wrote this

Today, I prayed that God would take away her pain soon.  I feel disgusted with myself.  I am praying for my Gran to die!!  But then, she is living each day, unable to tell the world what she is feeling inside…She does not know what is happening around her…or does she know???  I don’t know…

I guess I am comforted by the fact that she is no longer in pain and she is no longer suffering and I know that she is in a better place.  The last time I saw her was in August, after the honeymoon.  She looked so fragile, but the miraculous thing is that she said a few words that day!  I have not heard her speak for years!!  She said, in Hakka, my name – “Ling Yen” and the Hubby’s name “Noah”.  She was so cute.  Damn, I miss her.

I feel really useless being on the other side of the world.  All I  have been doing is crying.  That is no help whatsoever.  I remember when my paternal Gran had passed away, I was upset for days on end…but I had kept myself busy looking after the siblings and working in my Dad’s shop and working my dentist job as well while my parents were away in Hong Kong.  But over here, it’s different. I don’t have a job…I don’t have enough money to fly home…I just feel so numb and useless at a sad time for our family.

I cried uncontrollably for a couple of hours last night, but the Hubby has been really good at just holding me and comforting me.  Gosh, it just reminded me of when I was crying over the death of my other Gran, the ex-fiance actually laughed at me for crying!  Yes, he did!  Thank God, I never married him!!!

Gran, I miss you, but I know you are in a better place with no more pain and no more suffering!  Sorry I couldn’t be with you for your last few days.  You were an amazing grandmother.  You are greatly missed by everyone.  Love you.  See you again one day.  xxx

Spray Me

By Ling

Like most girls, I freak out when I see any creepy crawlies or insects.  So what on earth am I doing in Australia??  It’s the land of multi-legged freaks and scary flying creatures of all shapes and sizes!  For example, there are bats in the park!!

Anyway, even in the comfort of my own bedroom, I am not safe!  I have had to protect myself from crazy creatures of all sorts by a number of spraying techniques.

1.  The Fly
Okay, admittedly a normal fly is pretty harmless but after a while, the buzzing noises get irritating especially when you’re trying to sleep.  Anyway, one night I heard this constant buzzing and I got up to investigate.  I found this gigantic fly in my room buzzing about.  I love my celebrity magazines and didn’t want to use them to kill this fly so I decided to use hairspray.  BIG mistake!  The hairspray made the fly go hyper and it went to super-duper-buzz mode and was bouncing off the walls!!!  Hairspray – FAIL!

2.  The Ants
Again, you might think ants are pretty harmless…but not when there’s an army of ants in your pants!  Okay, I exaggerate…there were no ants in my pants but there was a big trail of ants coming in through my permanently-opened window.  They were climbing up and down the curtains building an ant colony??  Who knows?   Anyway, I had a can of insect-repellent spray and used it to spray all over the window ledge.  Yes, it did stop the ants from coming in through the window…but they started entering through some other crack in the wall.  Argh!  And the effects of the repellent is only temporary and does not last forever.  Insect-repellent spray – FAIL!

3.  The Cockroach #1
I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom when I suddenly noticed this cockroach looking at me.  I screamed, spat out my toothpaste and grabbed the nearest spray on the shelf and sprayed it.  The cockroach did not die and scuttled away.  I looked at the spray – deodorant…damn it, well, at least, there’s one cockroach out there who smells likes roses and attracting the ladies!  LOL.  Deodorant spray – FAIL!

4.  The Cockroach #2
For some reason, the cockroaches in Australia are extremely perverted and they like to lurk in bathrooms!  I was taking a shower when this cockroach decided to join me by climbing up the glass shower screen.  By this time, I was screaming like the woman in Psycho, but just like the movie, no-one was around to rescue me from this beast.  I was naked and wet and helpless.  I looked around for the nearest weapon – the shower spray!  I thought the hot water would boil it alive, but unfortunately, it didn’t.  And now, there’s not only a deodorant-smelling cockroach in Sydney, but there’s also a freshly-washed cockroach out there roaming the streets.  Shower spray – FAIL!

All these sprays have proved to be useless…but now I am the owner of a big can of insect-killing spray!  Oh yeah!

What are your tried and tested methods of killing these nasty beasties?  Please share!

I am leaving you a picture of a cockroach which I found outside of my bedroom door yesterday.
Name : Cockroach #3
Cause of death : unknown

Pray For My Aunt

By Ling

Remember how I mentioned here that my Aunt, my Dad’s sister, is terminally ill with cancer.

She is expected to pass away within the next few days.

She is actually just lying in a hospital bed – going in and out of consciousness; suffering and not speaking; in a very weakened state.

My Uncle, her husband, passed away years ago from lung cancer.
She has a daughter and three sons who are all in their late 20′s and 30′s.

I feel so helpless.  It scares me.  I feel so bad because I haven’t visited her recently.  I don’t want to see her like that.

My parents visit her every day.
Every time the phone rings, we think it’s the hospital because we will get notified first.

How horrible.  She is just waiting to take her last breath…waiting to die…

Is it horrible for me to pray that she dies soon?
I hope she goes peacefully in her sleep...