Posts Tagged ‘ex-boyfriend’

Thinking About Previous Relationships

By Ling

Procrastinating is one of my favourite pastimes especially when I have something else to do, i.e. wedding planning.  Anyway, for the last week, I have been thinking about the previous relationships I have been in.  I think I have been in 4-5 relationships – but hey, who’s counting?  I think it was important for me to look back and be glad that I was no longer in that relationship.  I was happy that I had made peace with all of them.  Well, what I mean by that is, when the relationship ended, I offered my friendship – some took up the offer and some did not.  That was quite difficult for me to overcome because they had shared an important part in my life but then, after the relationship ended, the friendship had gone too.

Is it really that hard to maintain friendship with your exes?
Or is it because you do not want anything which may hinder or damage the new relationship you are in?

Yes, I am a bit strange.  I still wanted to be friends with the ex who beat me up.  I still wanted to be friends with the ex who dumped me for an older woman.  I still wanted to be friends with the ex who… (okay, let’s not drag up history!)

Sometimes, I wish I never met some of these guys…but then if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be where I am now!

So, I was reading someone’s blog and they said that they had facebook stalked their previous exes.  So what did I do?  I did the same thing.  Haha.

However, when I stumbled upon a photo of the ex with their current girlfriend/fiancee/wife, I did NOT think :-

1.  Gosh, she’s fat and ugly!  I am so much prettier than her!
2.  Dammit, he’s so hot.  I miss him.
3.  I hate his guts!  Ugh.  His face is repulsive.

Instead, I thought, “Aww.  They look great together.  I am so happy for them.” Seriously, I did.

Therefore, in conclusion, I hope that when one of my exes (or all the guys who have unsuccesfully pursued me – there is LONG list of them – JOKE!) facebook stalks me or reads this blog (you may be surprised how many of them read this!), they will also be happy for me and Mr Dorky’s forthcoming nuptials.

This sounds cheesy but I have a song dedicated to my previous ex-boyfriends, flings, crushes…(yes, Brad Pitt!)…

Get Over It

By Ling

I have been travelling for over ten weeks now and I’ve met a number of interesting people, hung out with old friends and made new friends.

I connected with a new friend – Mr KAD (read about him here).  Why?  Because we talked about nitty-gritty stuff that people generally avoid.

The conversation went something along the lines of this :-

Mr KAD :  So, what’s the most expensive gift you have received from a guy?
Me :  Engagement ring

(People always change the subject when they find out I was once engaged and although, they are curious, they don’t pursue the subject.  I actually don’t mind talking about it because at least, it shows that I have had an existent love life!  Anyway, in this case, I changed the subject but Mr KAD brought it back up 10 minutes later…)

KAD :  So you were engaged?  What happened?
Me :  blah, blah, blah

(it’s now just a 2 minute spiel because I can’t remember much but I know it was painful)

Mr KAD :  So are you over him?

(See! I LIKE this straight-to-the-point bluntness!!  Why beat around the bush??   LOVE IT!)

Me : Hell, YEAH!
(Okay, I didn’t really say that…I said “yes”…but it sounds better if I pretended I said it in a fake American accent…LOL)

I just love bluntness.  What’s the point of small mish-mash talk?  Get to the deep stuff that really matters!!

Anyway, you know what the most annoying thing is though??

Although I am totally over this failed relationship, some of my friends aren’t!

I have been told by two brides AFTER THEIR WEDDING, that I could have been a bridesmaid but they didn’t know if I could cope!!

Like seriously, WTF is that about??

I LOVE WEDDINGS!  I am ALWAYS happy to see people getting married and being in love.

What did they think I was gonna do?   Break down and cry and shoot the groom just because poor little me didn’t get to walk down the aisle and get married???  PUH-LEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hello???

What annoys me off even more is….the fact they tell me AFTER the wedding! What is the point?  Does it make me wanna thank them for saving me from wedding meltdown?  HARDLY!  Just gets me angry because it means that they don’t really know me at all!  They couldn’t have discussed it with me prior to the wedding???  Don’t tell me afterwards!!!

GOSH, when will this broken engagement crap stop haunting me???

I also missed out on going to the ex-fiance’s sister’s wedding recently!

I was invited and then I wasn’t.  I was raging!  WTF?  We’re grown-up people here!!!  Can’t we be civilised to each other?

But it made ME look bad!  EVERYONE was going and EVERYONE was invited.

People : Are you going to the wedding?
Me : No

People look at me like I’m the bitter ex-jilted-fiancee…aww, poor girl, can’t cope with going to the wedding…blah blah blah…

(I could have explained why..sometimes I really wanted to…but then, I didn’t because I didn’t want to cause a scene or start some malicious rumours just before their wedding…see, I am CONSIDERATE that way!!)

Anyway, yeah, people get over it!

In conclusion : Invite me to your weddings!  Let me be the bridesmaid!  Let me catch the bouquet!

The Ex Factor

By Ling

I know a guy.  He told me that he wouldn’t date until he found one special girl.  And this one girlfriend would be his only girlfriend because then she would become his wife.  I was a bit cynical about this…ahem…being an expert in failed relationships and all…haha…

In an ideal world, I only wanted to date one guy and I thought I was selective and careful in picking the right guy, but look where it’s got me.  Anyway, this guy recently got attached and it will be interesting to see if he will indeed marry this girl.  (EDIT : it didn’t last the distance because the guy bailed on the girl)

I have this weird habit of thinking about and relating and comparing things – it’s just this weird thing I do in my head.  I like to relate things to each other; find a common theme…it’s quite hard to explain…but I think it’s fun and it makes me witty when I write it in my diary…let me give you an example…

Last week, I had a CR@P week.  It was CR@P, not just because I was depressed about stuff, but also because CR@P stuff happened.  I was desperate for the toilet and went to this public toilet which had a floating CR@P, i.e. turd.  Also, one of my patients CR@PPED all over the toilet seat as she had bad diarrhoea but ran out of toilet paper!!!

You see, the common theme here is CR@P.

Anyway, I stumbled upon this the other day -  the ex-boyfriends.

Ex-Boyfriend # 1 – he is married with 2 kids
Ex-Boyfriend #2 – he is engaged
Ex-Boyfriend #3 – he is in a relationship
Ex-Boyfriend #4 – he is single (but for how much longer?)

The differences in their relationship statuses amused me for a while.

I like to see if there is a trend or pattern forming so I did some more thinking and came up with this :-

Ex-Boyfriend #1 – younger than me and Christian
Ex-Boyfriend #2 – older than me and non-Christian
Ex-Boyfriend #3 – older than me and non-Christian (at the time)
Ex-Boyfriend #4 – younger than me  and Christian

Interesting or what?

I have yet to date an older, Christian guy.

Being older and wiser in my choices, my next boyfriend would have to be Christian.  And they most likely will be younger than me; simply because I find them less boring and more fun.


Please Answer #2

By Ling

Quote : “One aspect of being a boy/girlfriend is because you’re scared of being lonely”
- IS THAT FAIR???

Why are some people so obsessed with their partner’s looks that they forget to look what is inside them??

- Or perhaps, maybe they’ve only got the looks, but there’s nothing inside??

“I love you” - what does that really mean?  What is love?

Can exes really stay friends after a break-up?

Why do so many people ask when I am going to get married?  Am I not a girl?  Should I be asking for the guy’s hand in marriage?

And why do some people ask when are you and “him” getting married?  Why do people ASSUME so much??

If you’ve broken up with your partner, when and how do you announce your break-up?

What’s wrong with being single??

Why is there such a need for couples to have public displays of affection?  Isn’t that supposed to be private?

Should you not encourage your partner to be a better person?  But what if you find out that you’re weighing them down?  Do you continue dating regardless…or do you let go and let them grow?

Surely, if you truly love them, then you should set them free….

As a Christian, I believe that God has planned someone for everyone.  If you’re supposed to be together, then God will make it happen…even if you have to wait…

But then…should you change or mould your partner into someone you will love or rather, accept them as they are?

Why can’t everything be black or white?

Why are people so afraid to talk about their relationships?

How come guys can break up with a girl and say that they’ll wait for the girl and love them forever, but then start fancying/dating another girl within a short period of time after that declaration?  Liars!!!!!

Why do some guys automatically assume that girls are highly INSECURE about their looks?

When will guys realise that double standards exist in relationships?  e.g. it’s okay for girl to find one of the boyfriend’s guy friends hot, but it is OBVIOUSLY not okay for the boyfriend to find one of the girlfriend’s friends hot!

Why does jealousy have to exist in most relationships?  If I don’t get jealous, does it mean that I don’t care?…so then is it valid for me to pretend to be jealous??

How come you think that you know a person, but you actually really don’t know them at all??

–  Anyway, my bestest friends got married so they  don’t have to worry about that anymore…congrats!