Posts Tagged ‘lies’

Telling Untruths About A New Relationship

By Ling

Something has been bugging me recently.  In fact, a lot of things have been bugging me.  But today, I want to share about this.  As you all may know by now, I am one of these annoyingly open and honest people.  Seriously, if we are on the same wavelength, I will tell you everything you want to know about me – in detail.  I believe that I am extremely good to my friends because I basically adore friends.  I love having friends and being a good friend to everyone.  I am one of those sensitive creatures who get upset if people don’t like me.  I will tolerate all sorts just to keep the peace in friendships.  I just love friends.  (Okay, we get the picture – please move on!!!)  Anyway, recently I have come to the realisation that some friends can tell a lie without blinking!!  And that bugs me.  Why do friends have to lie?  And what is it that these friends lie about?  It’s dating-related!!  And we all know how I, self-confessed love guru, love dating-related topics.  Yes, I have friends who have been telling untruths about their new relationships.

Friend #1
Was asking Friend #1 about dating and they said, “Oh, I’m not interested in the opposite sex at the moment.  I don’t want to date at the moment.” A couple of weeks later, I discover that Friend #1 is now in a relationship.  Maybe, just maybe, Friend #1 changed their mind AFTER I had spoken to them…but I doubt it!  Basically, Friend #1 lied.

Friend #2
Was asking Friend #2 about dating.  (Yes, I ask a lot of my single friends about dating because seriously, do I really want to ask the boring question, “How is work?“)  I asked if Friend #2 liked anyone of the opposite sex.  Friend #2 said, “No!”  I said, “How about this person (name of my single friend of the opposite sex)?  He/she is hot!!”  They said, “Nah.”  TWO DAYS later, Facebook announces that Friend #2 is in a relationship with the same person I had named.  Like hello?  Obviously, I am happy for my friend and I congratulated them, but I still cannot believe Friend #2 lied.  Friend #2 hasn’t apologised for lying but it’s okay, I forgave them.

Friend #3
This one is a bit twisted so I shall not go into detail.  But I discovered that Friend #3 was dating someone from the same sex and basically, living a whole secret life.  Okay, cannot disclose any more information.  But let’s just say that this friend is extremely good at lying…but then again, did they forget that I am even better at being a detective?!

Maybe I am just uber-sensitive about friendships.  But I am sure the Guide To Being A Good Friend states that friends should not lie to each other.  (I just made that up so don’t go googling this guide!  It doesn’t exist!)

Listen friends, if you are going to lie about dating or being in a relationship, please don’t.  Friends should not lie to each other.  If you are confronted with a question you do not want to answer, please do this – read here.

In fact, I will even give you some extra help if you do not want to disclose about your dating habits or new relationships.

Do you fancy him/her?
Instead of saying “No” when you clearly do, but you don’t want to admit it, choose from the following :-

  • “Everyone is fanciable in their own ways.” - This is a fact.  Act coy.
  • “Why?  Do you?” – Turn it back on the interrogator.
  • “It doesn’t matter whether I fancy them…more importantly, does he/she fancy me?” – This will get the interrogator thinking and will divert the attention to someone else.
  • “I don’t want to talk about it.” – Simple.  This will stop any more questions from the interrogator.

Friend #4
I recently discovered that one of my friends, Friend #4, started dating someone, but they did not lie but instead, used the methods of hiding the truth.  I asked Friend #4, “Are you dating anyone?”  Now the thing is, I KNEW that Friend #4 is dating someone but they did not lie about it and instead said, “Do you think I have time for dating?  I have been working so hard…blah blah…

Smart.  Did not answer the question with a yes or no.  Instead answered the question with another question and then proceeded to divert the attention away from the question.

What could I do?  Friend #4 did not want to admit their new relationship.  But I was happy that Friend #4 did not lie to me.  One day when Friend #4 wants to share, I must remember to thank them for not lying to me.

In conclusion :  Thou shalt not lie to a good friend.  WRONG!

Okay, okay.  Maybe I should face reality.  Sometimes I may consider someone to be a good friend, but it does not mean that the feeling is mutual…(which is the other thing which is seriously bugging me to the point where it kept me awake last night but I shall share another day…)

In conclusion :  Thou shalt not lie, especially to friends.  WRONG!

Okay, okay.  Just because I consider someone to be my friend, the feeling may not be mutual.  They may be two-faced and hate your guts…(which is another thing which has been bugging me.  Again, another story…)

In conclusion :  Thou shalt not lie.

Just like the ninth commandment in the Bible.  Oh yeah!

Guys And Lies

By Ling

It suddenly dawned on me today that there are 3 phrases that are commonly misused and abused by guys.  They say it, but do NOT mean it.

The 1-worded phrase = Promise!

The 2-worded phrase = I’m sorry!

The 3-worded phrase = I love you!

Today, I had the greatest pleasure of getting the “I’m sorry” phrase with no sincerity to it AT ALL because it was followed by this comment a few minutes later… “Get a grip!” - thanks a lot travel (non)buddy Mr Player!

Like seriously, WTF?!!

Confessions Of A Liar #2

By Ling

It’s amazing how people can lie so convincingly…

Generally, I try not to lie (except in certain circumstances), but when asked a question that I do not want to answer honestly, I will :-

1.  Divert the attention away from the question
2.  Hide or twist the truth
3.  Answer the question with a question
4.  Smile or make a facial expression which confuses the interrogator
5.  If all else fails, run away!!

Today I asked her if she was having an affair with that older man.

She said, “I have standards!”
- THAT is neither a yes nor a no…

Smart girl.

Ended Before It Even Started #2

By Ling

Remember when I met Mr Udon – the potential boyfriend but we went on a few dates but nothing happened and then it was all over.    It ended because he had lied and I wasn’t ready to tell the story, but I am now…

Before you read on, you must promise not to judge me for my actions.

So, he left after he dropped the bombshell and we were going to wait till he returned and maybe start a relationship…

Anyway, I was thinking of sending him an email.  I went into the hotmail website, but then for some weird, absurd reason, in the username bit – I typed in HIS username.

Oh?  And then I thought, let me mess around and see if I can figure out his password.  The first try and I was in!!!  NO JOKE!!  It wasn’t easy like the name of his car or my name…it was a word that he had said one time which isn’t even a real word…

The point is, I had successfully hacked into his hotmail email account!!!  I went to the Inbox messages.  I saw an email sent from me.  There were emails from this guy…this girl…and lots of emails from this Japanese girl.  And no, I didn’t read any of these emails.

I went to the Sent messages.  Aww, his last email was to me.  The one before that was to his brother.

I did a bad thing.  I sneaked a peek to see what he wrote to his brother.  There was some subconscious thing in me, which wanted to know if he had mentioned me to his brother.  I read the email – Mr Udon had mentioned a girl in his email…Yep, a girl…not me though…

The email consisted of only one sentence :

” Ms Japan, my japanese girlfriend is pregnant…what should I do?”

I was soooooo confused???  I was, like….HUH???  What’s this????

I reread it.   Was Mr Udon’s brother’s Japanese girlfriend pregnant?  No…it was definitely Mr Udon’s Japanese girlfriend!!

It really shocked me.  I was stunned for half an hour and my heart sank and then, stupid me, I called him in Hong Kong to confront him.

“I know you’re going out with a Japanese girl…”
“What?  Who’s been gossiping about me now??”
“Just admit it!!!”

I was telling myself that if he admitted it, then maybe things could be salvageable.  I was ready to forgive him…

“Look…I know she’s pregnant!!”
“What?  hahahahahahahahahah…That’s just ridiculous!!”

And he denied it!!!!!!!  ALL of it!!!!

I think what I wanted him to say was, “Yes, Ling.  I made a mistake…but we stopped seeing each other and then I met you….and NOW she’s found out she’s pregnant…but I wanna be with you…”

…but he lied…and made me feel like a fool…like I’m so stupid for believing gossip……

….and he STILL sent me text messages and stuff….and saying ‘lovey dovey’ stuff……

I just felt sick….”Mr Udon.  I really CANNOT and WILL NOT be your girlfriend…Sorry…”

….and I prayed really hard………for him…for her…for the unborn baby…

…..and I really didn’t want any contact with him afterwards….

…he persisted for a while………..and then some…

Some of his last words to me were…

“I’m sorry I could never live up to your criteria for your perfect boyfriend!!  I am sorry I am NOT chinese!  Tell your parents I’m sorry I’m not some rich chinese doctor!”

He made it out that I was the one being picky….like it wasn’t his fault that ‘we’ didn’t happen….

…and I was unhappy…I just felt really ugly and unwanted…like, how can some guy just come into my life and just LIE LIE LIE to me…???  There was me, telling everyone EVERYONE, that I met some wonderful guy who could be a BOYFRIEND……and then it didn’t happen….

…but I believe he is a nice guy…everyone makes mistakes…

…and thank GOD we didn’t become ‘we’…!!!

…oh and he changed his password..and something even freakier….I ALSO figured out one of his friend’s passwords too!!!  And I haven’t even met her…it was a ‘one try’ thing too…!!!  I was bored okay?  I’m not a hacker!!!  I am too smart for my own good sometimes, but this time, good thing I was sneaky!!  Imagine I was still oblivious and ended up with him…*shudder*

In conclusion : I’m in a happier place and also – Happy 4th month anniversary to Mr Geek and I!!