My Mum and I have a pretty awesome relationship…especially now that we don’t live in the same country. It means that I don’t have to hear her nagging and she doesn’t have to hear me whining. On average, we speak about 2-3 times a month…I’m not the best talker on the phone or via Skype. I prefer face-to-face chats. If you know my Mum in real life, you’ll know she is one of a kind…she’s totally wacky!!!
Every time I call my Mum, she talks forever. On and on and on… She can talk for Britain, I tell you! Anyway, I called her yesterday because apparently, one of my brothers got a black rabbit…and I wanted to make sure that they had the rabbit checked for any diseases…
Instead, my Mum steered the conversation away…and somehow…I heard something that I NEVER EVER wanted to hear from my Mum…
Wait for it…
She gave me and the Mr – sexual advice!!!!! YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK!!!!
And the funny thing is, with her Chinese accent, she can’t say “sex” properly…and it comes out as “sezzz”….and EWWW EWWW EWWWW!!!
That’s enough now, Mother dear!!!!
So I thought I’d compile a list of 5 Things You Never Want To Hear From Your Mum (and I hope my Mum reads this list and never utters anything from this list!!!) :-
1. Any kind of sexual advice, e.g. “You guys shouldn’t have sex when…” – that was my Mum last night!!!! SICK!!!
2. ”I told you so!” - okay, we all know our Mothers are always right to some degree, but there’s no need to gloat and rub it in!
3. ”Tidy your room!” – not when you’re over 30 years old.
4. ”Make sure you do the housework and let your Husband rest!” – that is exactly what my Mum wrote on my Facebook wall for all to see!
5. The sexual activities which led to your conception, e.g. “That night, your Dad got really horny…” *lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala, I can’t hear you*
Anything else you never want to hear from your Mum? Leave a comment!
As her awesome daughter, I made her a Youtube video. Please sit back and press play.
I’m not an expert at iMovie editing and as a newbie to it, I reckon I did a pretty good job. Now everyone will wish that I was their daughter
I kid!!! But she watched this video already and she says I should have been a director instead of a dentist – now how sweet is that?
It’s really sad to be far away from my Mum…and I miss her all the time. Good thing, I have videos of her doing silly stuff to keep me entertained. I love you Mama!!
As you already know, my Mum is blonde, which also means that she is not tech-savvy.
She doesn’t know how to turn on the DVD player.
She refuses to own a mobile phone.
She doesn’t have an email address.
She doesn’t know my website address.
But she has a Facebook account! YES, she does!
She started Facebook after I left for my travels last year. With the 11 hour timezone difference between UK and Australia, it’s not always easy to contact each other. Sometimes I call home but she’s not there or when I do speak to her, we can’t talk for too long as it gets too expensive. Facebook was the best way to stay in touch and see my updates and photos.
I was so touched when I read her first Facebook message to me…even though she outed my age publicly on Facebook!! LOL!
But since then, I don’t think she has even logged onto her Facebook account as she has not written back! It is too confusing for her.
When I return to UK for a quick visit in March, I am going to sit her down and explain that there are other Mums out there just like her, get her to join the Digital Mum Facebook group and teach her some tips and tricks and hopefully, it will transform her into a tech-savvy Digital Mum!
In conclusion : I am looking forward to the day when I have a Facebook poking contest with my Mum!
I got WTF moments all day, in order of occurrence.
1. As soon as work is over, Dentist Ling mode is switched off. This morning, on my day off, I woke at 8.30am and then, called one of my dentist friends Miss VeeBee and we talked about work, work and more work!! WTF? (we only stopped talking because she had to go to work!)
2. Not only did Miss VeeBee and I discuss work, but we discussed doing this postgraduate dental exam (you know the ones which give you more letters after your name). The thing is, I actually persuaded her to do the exam, then I changed my mind, so then I persuaded her NOT to do the exam and now, I’ve changed my mind AGAIN so now we’re planning to sit the exam in 2 months!!!
WTF? (I have to start studying NOW!)
3. I am such a tightwad that I won’t pay extortionate amounts of money for designer labels. I’d rather buy cheapy clothes/bags/shoes/etc and get lotsa of goodies with my money than one expensive designer item. I also think it is tacky to buy fake designer stuff. I was in Hong Kong recently and I bought 2 fake ‘designer’ Chloe handbags! (*gasp*) I actually thought my sister would want it – she didn’t. I was going to give it away – but who would want it? I felt fake about using a fake designer handbag but today, I took one out for a walk and I actually admired the fakeness of it!! WTF? (I have become TACKY Ling!)
4. Today, on my day off, my parents booked a flat-viewing and I was dragged along too. I’m not into this property business especially when my parents are so overprotective that they have refused my requests to move out the family home for the last 4 years. An hour later, I became the owner to this brand new flat with permission from my parents to move out. The estate guy who showed us around said to my Mum that I didn’t look too enthusiastic. No, I’m in delayed shock! (delayed)…..WTF? Buy a flat and I can move out??
5. In the showrooms, there was this lovely flatscreen TV hanging on the wall and I said I wanted the same. My Mum said that I could have the flatscreen TV which they bought a couple of weeks ago (they want a bigger screen). Immediately, my Dad said “No way! We need to buy a NEW one!” Both my Mum and I looked bewildered because a) the TV is brand new and b) my tightwad-ness is inherited from my Dad who is SUPER-DUPER-TIGHT!
WTF? x 2 (from Mum and I)
6. You know how I’ve been harping on about the Big Plan? Well, the new flat clashes with the Big Plan – especially on the money side of it. My overprotective parents have not only approved the Big Plan but also, said they would help support me financially with the flat when the Big Plan happens! Major WTF? (and questioning whether my parents have been abducted by aliens)
7. 12.41pm via SMS – “You’re so beautiful.” wtf? (not in CAPS because I know you secretly (not so secret now!) think that about me anyway)
8. So I have been telling a few close friends about the Big Plan. I met up with one of my friends today and my constant chat about the Big Plan has directly influenced her and she has come up with her Big Plan and this has also passed onto 2 of her other friends with their Big Plans!!! What have I done??? WTF? (I am so influential, I could be the next President of America in which case, I would make every citizen read my blog!)
9. My Mum called me during coffee with my friend to tell me to go to work in the takeaway ASAP because one of the staff members did not turn up for work without prior notice. WhereTheF are you hiding you bad ass member of staff?
10. It suddenly dawned on me while reflecting on today’s events and all about the Big Plan and stuff, that I am going to turn the BIG 3-0 next year!!! Yes, next year!!!!!!!!!!!! Most WTF? moment of the day