Often, I get criticism for being a Facebook addict. Often, I get criticism for being a blogger. But it’s okay, I just ignore them because Facebook and my blog are critical in my life. Any time, my family want to contact me, they do it via Facebook, even when it is urgent! Bizarre, I know, but that’s how we roll. Any time, I feel I need to express something, I do it by blogging. I can’t talk about it, but I need to write about it. Bizarre, I know, but it’s therapeutic for me.
Last night, my sister sent me a Facebook message telling me that my maternal Gran had fallen ill with pneumonia. I had left my phone at home (thus I did not have access to internet) and didn’t find out till a couple of hours later. Immediately, I rang home to find out what was going on. They didn’t have much to say except that my Gran was in a critical condition.
After the phone call, I cried for half an hour and prayed for her. I went to take a shower and then checked Facebook again and my sister had message again saying that my Gran had passed away. At this point, I was numb. I called my sister’s mobile phone and my Mum answered and before I said anything, she knew it was me. And then we both broke down and cried.
I have been re-reading the blogs about my Gran today. Back in April 2008, can you remember I wrote this
Today, I prayed that God would take away her pain soon. I feel disgusted with myself. I am praying for my Gran to die!! But then, she is living each day, unable to tell the world what she is feeling inside…She does not know what is happening around her…or does she know??? I don’t know…
I guess I am comforted by the fact that she is no longer in pain and she is no longer suffering and I know that she is in a better place. The last time I saw her was in August, after the honeymoon. She looked so fragile, but the miraculous thing is that she said a few words that day! I have not heard her speak for years!! She said, in Hakka, my name – “Ling Yen” and the Hubby’s name “Noah”. She was so cute. Damn, I miss her.
I feel really useless being on the other side of the world. All I have been doing is crying. That is no help whatsoever. I remember when my paternal Gran had passed away, I was upset for days on end…but I had kept myself busy looking after the siblings and working in my Dad’s shop and working my dentist job as well while my parents were away in Hong Kong. But over here, it’s different. I don’t have a job…I don’t have enough money to fly home…I just feel so numb and useless at a sad time for our family.
I cried uncontrollably for a couple of hours last night, but the Hubby has been really good at just holding me and comforting me. Gosh, it just reminded me of when I was crying over the death of my other Gran, the ex-fiance actually laughed at me for crying! Yes, he did! Thank God, I never married him!!!
Gran, I miss you, but I know you are in a better place with no more pain and no more suffering! Sorry I couldn’t be with you for your last few days. You were an amazing grandmother. You are greatly missed by everyone. Love you. See you again one day. xxx
The title of this post is adapted from the song Puff, The Magic Dragon – which has speculation about its drug references – but with clever implementation of punctuation, I have changed it to mean something similar, but directed to someone else, i.e. please smoke marijuana, Dragon Lady.
Who is Dragon Lady?
She is my female housemate in Melbourne. The house has 5 bedrooms, but she was the only one living there when I moved in. (Housemate #2 moved in a couple of days ago) When I went to introduce myself, she was too busy to spare 2 minutes of her life to welcome me. She said her name and then turned her back to me and carried on with whatever she was doing. She did not try to engage in small talk or reciprocate my smile.
Why is she known as Dragon Lady?
She is rude and has a face like thunder! No wonder no-one wants to live with her!
She returned from work the other day as I working on my Domestic Goddess Project.
DL : Are you cooking?
Me : (DUH!!!!) Yes…
DL : You SHOULD open the back door and turn on the fan! (opens door and turns on fan and walks out of the kitchen and slams the kitchen door behind her)
And hello to you too!!!!!
I had just closed the back door, but I didn’t know about the cooker fan because she hadn’t told me before.
Maybe Dragon Lady was having a bad day…?
Okay, okay…maybe she was having a bad day, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that Dragon Lady told Housemate #2 that we should NOT put our stuff in the fridge she uses, but use the second fridge which was MOULDY from top to bottom! Yes, when I say mouldy, I mean mouldy! She did NOT buy the fridge! She does NOT own the house! We are supposed to share the facilities in the kitchen! I’d like to see her put her freakin’ stuff in the moudly fridge! Stupid beep!
Who cleaned the mouldy fridge?
A sucker for punishment!
A sucker in love with his girlfriend…yes, my boyfriend! He’s in lurve! I didn’t even ask him! Seriously! What did I do to deserve him?
Dragon Lady strikes again…
Not content with my inability to open the back door and turn on the cooker fan, she stormed back into the kitchen and told me to stop leaving the toilet seat wet and to take out my rubbish by Thursday. I said okay. 20 minutes later, she hunts me down again (but I was taking a shower), so she got hold of the boyfriend and asked him if we had finished cleaning up in the kitcken because the “cooker has not been left in its original state!”
Ladies and gentleman, I had packed away all my pots and pans and whatnot, but there was a small carrot piece lodged on a cooker hob.
Does anyone want to date Dragon Lady?
The reason I ask this is because someone came up with this solution, “She just needs to get laid!”
I told the boyfriend to “take one for the team”, but he politely declined, “Not even if you pay me!”
No sex, how about drugs?
Yeah, maybe I should illegally purchase marijuana and get her to smoke it and get her relaxed…you know…”Puff the magic, Dragon Lady!”…but then again, I don’t condone drugs, so the best thing is to…
Pray for Dragon Lady!
Dear God, I pray that Dragon Lady stops being so anally-retentive and that we can become friends! Amen
Night View Of Taipei
Is anyone else surprised at how quickly 2010 is whizzing by?
I was flicking through my travel photos today when the above picture caught my eye. I took that photo when I went on a spontaneous trip to Taiwan in September 2009. It is a view of Taipei from Taipei 101 – which was the tallest building in the world at that time.
Taiwan was one of my favourite places because of my friend, Miss Ant’s hospitality, but also because she introduced me to all her lovely friends who were all there to teach English, but more importantly, to do ministry work for God.
If you haven’t heard, Taiwan experienced a 6.4 earthquake today. After the Haiti and Chile earthquakes and now Taiwan, it does not make me question my Christian faith. But instead, it makes me hold on less to earthly possessions and makes me want to seek more of God for His treasures.
My prayers are with all those affected by the earthquakes.
In conclusion : God answers prayers.
Usually, I agree with the saying - “There are 2 sides to every story.”
But in some situations, I personally believe it does NOT apply.
Example 1 – A murderer kills an innocent person. THAT IS WRONG! Definitely NO two sides.
Example 2 – A paedophile abuses a young child. THAT IS WRONG! Definitely NO two sides.
What I am about to reveal next comes from deep within my heart.
I am a victim.
And I let it eat me away for a while. I let it destroy me slowly…
One of my guy friends tried to sexually violate me. It wasn’t like pinching my ass or trying to kiss me, like when this happened. It was worse than that…it was disgusting behaviour…no, I wasn’t raped, but I dread to think what would have happened if I was too scared to fight back…but let’s not go into details…sometimes, I still get the nightmares and relive the horror….
Anyway, if you know me well, you will know that I normally let people walk all over me. So I let this “thing” lie…and nothing was done about it…The apology was half-hearted, followed by the words, “GET A GRIP!”
I didn’t really understand. I fought back the tears. I thought I was strong and could fight it alone. I let my heart harden and I would constantly tell myself “I hate guys!”
No, actually, I don’t hate guys! You all know, one of my favourite topics to write about is guys.
It’s just that I really, really, really dislike that guy! Who is the guy? If you’ve been reading my blogs recently, then it’s pretty obvious who it is. If you don’t, then please re-read.
That guy swarms around fooling people about what a nice guy he is. but I know differently.
The stupid thing is – we remained friends for a while. But I was forced to because we were doing something together. (Again, all is clear if you have been reading my blogs all along as to why I had to remain friends with him.)
Until one night, I woke up after another nightmare and I prayed to God for a solution.
And like always, He answers my prayers because the next day, this guy confronted me, via text message. Without going into too much detail, he said I disrespect friendships!!
WTF? DISRESPECT???? I respect all my true friends dearly!!
What did I do? I wrote a long email expressing my hurt feelings about how he tried to molest me, etc. And I even ended it with an offer of friendship…YES I STUPIDLY DID!! What was I thinking? And I still gave him his birthday present! HAHAHAHA!!!! I am stupid!
Thank God, he had the decency to refuse the offer of friendship.
Even though, he was out of my life, I could still see the damage he has caused in my life.
I feel like I have hated guys since foreverrrrrrrrrrrr – especially after abusive Ex-Boyfriend #2 and then commitment-phobic Ex-Boyfriend #4 (aka Ex-Fiance) and then Gobi, the sexual harrasser and then him!
For a while, I have had such low self-esteem.
I think I don’t deserve to be loved.
I think all men are sh*t-heads.
I think all guys are after ONE thing (usually, they are though).
I started piling on the makeup to get confident…etc…etc…
But I have recently made some amazing friends who accept me as I am…who do not think I am annoying or whiny….who think I am funny…who want to know more about me…who do not tell me to shut up when I am doing my crazy rambling thing…
No, I did NOT deserve it. Yes, I am a victim.
And it is my story…my side of the story…but then what would be his side – “She was asking for it???”
Sorry, but I have never ever ever ever encouraged this guy. What a d*ck!
Dear Mr You-Know-Who,
If you’re reading this, stop reading my blogs please – let me live my life in peace – thanks!
If something happens to me, e.g. mysteriously die under mysterious circumstances, then you know who did it!!! If I don’t blog again by the end of this week, it means I am lying dead in Sydney somewhere – please tell my Mum I love her – thanks!