As you can tell, I am quite stressed out at the moment. I don’t handle stressful situations very well.
Last year, I was going through a rough patch in life. Every day, I would eat 1kg of chocolate, a whole packet of biscuits and a big serving of ice-cream (I actually finished a whole Viennetta in 10 minutes after dinner).
Eating like this is obviously not going to do anyone any favours. I started getting fat and spotty.
One day, I decided to stick a toothbrush down my throat so I could vomit up the food I had eaten. It didn’t work! I have an amazing gag reflex!! I asked one of my guy friends to punch me in the stomach. He didn’t.
Miraculously, I stopped obsessing over food, but the depression still hovered over me. Instead of food, I turned to self-harm! I shut everyone out but I do wonder if anyone had even noticed…
In simple terms, I used a knife, scissors and a razor and hacked away at myself. I felt nothing though – there was no sense of relief when the blood gushed out. Stupid pointless exercise!!
But, I’m now in a happier place. How did I manage to pull myself out of this mess? Well, I didn’t do it – God revealed Himself to me! I’ve been a Christian for a few years but I went down the wrong path, but now I’m back on track!
Obviously I didn’t tell my family who live in Glasgow – which is 1.5 hours drive away from Dundee, where I study. But they knew that something was not right with me. They came up to visit me and it cheered me up so much. Even my dad phoned me and he said he loves me!!!!! That is really something because my dad is a stereotypical Chinese man who does not show emotions whatsoever – he usually doesn’t even say Bye on the phone; he just grunts and ends the call.
Anyway, the good thing is, although I am stressed at the moment, I haven’t done anything foolish. I just constantly remind myself of the positive things in life.
In conclusion : I feel so blessed and loved