Wednesday

Upper Wisdom Teeth Extraction

Posted by Ling on December 22, 2004

If you were fascinated by teeth as a child and you  grow up to be dentist, you’re bound to have good teeth.  That’s me.  I loved going to the dentist for my 6-monthly check-ups.  I actually remember the school dentist checked my teeth and then rewarded me with a SUGAR CUBE!!  Yuk!!  I spat it out when she wasn’t looking!

Anyway, since I started work, I have improved in my technique of pulling out teeth (= extraction, in dental jargon).  I may look tiny, but it’s not all strength, but technique.

But me being weird, I want to personally experience a tooth extraction.  I want to be able to tell my patients how it feels to get an injection to numb the gum (= local anaesthetic), how it feels when I start applying pressure on the tooth to be extracted, what noises to expect, etc…

So last week I opted to get my two upper wisdom teeth extracted.  They were lovely healthy teeth…what a shame!  I also chose that specific day for the extraction for a really good reason.

That night, I was due to go to a party.  Party means highly calorific food and drinks…and remember, I have put on weight so I came up with the idea -  if I get my upper wisdom teeth taken out, I wll be able to control my eating!  Genius!  I would have two gaping holes (= sockets), thus hot/cold foods are NOT allowed and neither is alcohol.  Genius!

Genius, my ass!!!  Teeth extractions are NOT nice!  Do NOT get your teeth extracted unless absolutely necessary.

Here’s an over-exaggerated description of the procedure for upper wisdom teeth extraction experienced by me, the patient (who is also a dentist) :-

1.  Sit on the dental chair

  • The smell of the dental surgery and the anticipation makes me nervous
  • The dental light shines in my eyes and it makes me squint and sweat
  • I don’t like lying so far back…I feel very vulnerable in this position

2.  Dentist wears mask and puts on gloves and picks up some dental instruments “Open wide, please!”

  • Deciphering what the dentist is saying through the mask is probably to distract me from my nerves
  • Cheek is yanked back with a dental tool

3.  Dentist says something in dental jargon to their dental nurse.  She comes near holding something…

  • wait, it’s a HUGE needle!!

4.  Dentist says, “Okay, so I’m going to numb this tooth.  It’s going to be a bit nippy.  Just breathe slowly…” and injects local anaesthetic

  • I can’t understand what the dentist is mumbling about – take the mask off please
  • Ow!  Ow!!  What’s happening??  That hurts!!!  Yuk, tastes horrible too!!

5.  Dentist allows time for anaesthetic to kick in

  • Slow tingling altered sensation and my face feels HUGE

6.  “Can you feel anything?”

  • What thing??  Oh, it’s numb!  Coo-el!

7.  Dentist picks up a funny-shaped dental tool and says, “I’m just going to loosen up the tooth; you’ll feel me pushing…lots of pressure now…”

  • Eh?  Stupid mask…I can’t understand what the dentist is saying…Ooh..I can feel pressure…Wow!  Dentists are strong!!
  • What’s that funny cracking noise?  Is that my bone???

8.  A few minutes pass and the dentist is working away

  • Okay, this is getting boring…when can I go??

9.  The dental nurse asks “Are you okay?”

  • Erm, hello, can’t you see I have my mouth full here and I can’t nod my head so I’ll just you a telepathic message with my eyes

10.  The dentist picks up another instrument which looks like pliers.  “Okay, not long to go now…it’s on it’s way…”

  • About time, my jaw is tired!!!  Did anyone else hear that crunching noise?

11.  “Great, it’s out.  Do you want to see it?”, the dentist says holding up the pliers with bloody tooth

  • Er, do I have a choice?  Gross…blood!!  Yuk!!!
  • Oh yuk, I can taste it too…

12.  “Okay, just bite on this swab.

  • Ouch, tired jaw…metallic taste of blood…my face feels swollen…
  • GET ME OUTTA HERE PRONTO!!

13.  Dentist starts the extraction on the other side

  • I WANNA GO HOME TO MY MUMMY!!

14.  Done!  The dentist runs through a list of Do’s and Don’t's….blah blah

  • I AM SO NEVER COMING BACK!

15.  5 minutes later, the dentist removes the swabs and checks to make sure both sockets have stopped bleeding, “Great, looks good.”

  • Tongue feels holes – they’re HUGE!!  Gross!

16.  Dental nurse takes off your bib and dental chair is returned to normal position

  • I can’t wait to get out of here…Woah!  Woah!!  Legs feel like jelly..DAMN!  Must sit down…feel light-headed..

17.  “Just take your time”

  • Yeah, I’m sure you want me to take my time so you can charge me more!  Dentists charge an arm and a leg to give you torture!!

Obviously, my colleague didn’t charge me for their dental services.  But it was not a pleasant experience, but at least I will be able to empathise with my patients now.  No more fake “Oh I know what you’re going through…”

Anyway, getting teeth out is good for dieting!  I didn’t get to eat much, although I felt a bit anti-social at the party because all I wanted to do was curl up in bed…

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