I was talking to one of my close girlfriends recently and somehow, we stumbled upon the subject of ex-boyfriends. Ex-who? Yeah, right, if only they could be so easily erased right?! She said something about one of them which came as a shock.
“Ling, I cannot believe you dated him. He was such an a$$hole!”
Huh? Where did that come from? I tried to think back and admittedly, I came up with some nasty memories of that “a$$hole”. I thought of the time he slapped me in the face because I didn’t do his sister’s dishes – which I had not even used! I thought of the time when he ordered me out of my bed on the day after my surgery – which had me off work for 3 months because of post-surgery complications – he didn’t care when I told him I was in excruciating pain. And then I stopped digging out these buried bad memories and I turned and said to my girlfriend,
“Yes, you’re right! He was an a$$hole! What was I thinking?”
And today, it came to me! Yes, revelation! I knew what I was thinking!
I saw all the danger signs but I still continued this failing relationship. I dated an a$$hole because :-
1. Love is blind. Simple, ’nuff said!
2. Surely, love can conquer all?! Yeah, right! I blame all those stupid lovey dovey movies which impress upon a stupid idea of love when in reality, it’s not like that!
3. Compared to my previous relationship with an even-more-abusive ex-boyfriend (yes, I dated a lot of a$$hole$ in my time), this relationship was better – but better is not enough!!!!!
4. I had invested a lot of time, sweat and tears into this relationship so it better damn well work! – WRONG thinking!!!
5. I wanted to prove people wrong – yes, the people who had advised AGAINST dating him in the first place!
6. (This is a terrible thing to admit but) I was thinking of the money – he came from a rich family background plus he was in a professional career which would mean that I would have become an upper class housewife…
Well, what can I say? I was a love fool!!
Are you going through similar experiences (like I mentioned above) in your relationship?
If you find yourself in a relationship where something’s just not quite right, please get out now! Don’t make the same mistake I did!
Do not feel obliged to stay in a rocky relationship because one day, it’ll bite you in the bum!
If you’ve just been dumped but you feel wronged and you cannot understand why because you did everything right, please stop dwelling on him/her. You’re wasting your time.
Hear this from me : “You deserve better!”
Just some friendly dating advice from your favourite relationship guru…
Important points to note :
- Just because a guy was an a$$hole to his previous girlfriend, it does not mean that he will be an a$$hole to his next girlfriend. Everyone deserves a second chance.
- This blog post is not hating on men but also applies in vice versa mode. That is, if you’re a guy and you dated a b!tch.